Owning You - A Na Jaemin Fanfic

69. Trust

I pull his arm over my shoulders and press his wrist to my face. His heartbeat moves against my cheek. His pulse beats quicker than mine, the night blinds me. I shift a little, and my eyes drink in his beauty: the luminosity of his chest, the tautness of his stomach, the veins streaking, rivulets of blue against the white of his skin.

He bleeds heat into the covers, into the mattress, into my softness.

I clutch him to me.

He leans closer, softly kissing my mouth. It's barely a breath against my lips.

Wake up. I miss you, he murmurs.

I'm right here, I say sleepily, opening my eyes.

I am alone.

It was just a dream.

But the memory of Jaemin's kiss lingers, fragile as spidersilk.

I am standing at the sink.

It is filled with soap suds, a quivering mass of froth. Rising. Hissing.

I dip my hands in.

Below the surface of the water, below the soap suds, I feel something stringy and wet floating, like seaweed, brushing past my hands. I feel around under the surface, and the substance becomes thicker, filling the sink. Pulling my hands out, I realize the sink is full of hair, matted together in clumps, enough hair to fill the entire bowl. It wraps itself around my hands: I try to free my fingers but they are caught.

Dimly, I remember the feeling of wet hair under my fingers.

Juda's hair.

Juda's eyes, blazing with madness.

Juda's hands on my throat.

"Die, bitch. Die," she shrieks, grotesque lips pulled back in a snarl.

My eyes snap open.

I can't breathe.

"Jaemin?" I feel the empty mattress beside me. "Jaemin?" I look around the room and remember.

He is not here. I am alone.

I grapple on the nightstand for my phone.

With unsteady hands, I unlock the screen. Scroll. Press CALL.

A dialling tone. One beat. Two.

Then: "Haeri? Baby? What's wrong?"

"Juda." I am shaking. "Juda."

"Baby, it's okay. She isn't real. I've got you."

I've got you. He said the same words, once upon a time, holding me tight, on a windswept, rain-soaked terrace. I'll never let you go. And I had never felt so loved, so safe, in my life.

"Hands - throat - couldn't br - "

"It was a nightmare, darling. It wasn't real. She's gone. She can't hurt you anymore."

"Can't - breathe - suffoca - "

"You're not suffocating. Listen to my breaths." He breathes in deeply and then exhales. "Do that for me. A big breath in, and now let it out."

I follow his instructions, my eyes closed tightly, my hand clenching the phone as I breathe in and out, listening to the flow of encouraging words coming through the phone. It takes a dozen or so breaths before I feel the air filling my lungs and my body beginning to relax.

"I dreamt of Juda." I swallow. "Choking me. I woke up and you weren't here. I panicked."

"It's okay," He sounds exhausted. "Are you okay now?"