Owning You - A Na Jaemin Fanfic

82. Puzzle Piece

Suzy is crying.

It is her third breakup in six months.

The first was with her first, and only, blind date. The guy had turned out to be a wimp. They dated for three weeks. "He was so boring. I tried, I really tried," she said. She stopped trying after he fell asleep next to her on the couch after the sixth date. "Apparently, he found me as boring as I did him."

Her second guy was the son of family friends. Her mother introduced them at a family gathering. He was pleasant, goodlooking and seemed to be a nice guy. The only snag was that he was studying in another university. They parted amicably after dating sporadically on weekends over three months. "It's better this way," she shrugged. "I didn't miss him when he wasn't around. We're still friends."

Her third, and most recent breakup is the most serious. Jun Heng, a Fourth Year Engineering student, seemed to be the perfect guy. He sat across from her at the library, and invited her for coffee on a rainy afternoon. They clicked, and she fell in love. He was handsome, funny and charming. They dated for two months. Two days ago, he texted her, and told her that he wanted to tell her something important.

"It turned out he likes another girl," she says bitterly. "He's been seeing her the past month. As friends, he says. Nothing more. I don't know. Maybe, he's lying to me. Maybe, he's been more than friends with her. But he says he's attracted to her, and the girl told him she liked him. She knows about me, and she made him choose, her or me, and he - he can't decide. He asked me to give him time to decide."

"Suzy...oh, sweetie..."

"But I can't live like that, waiting for him to choose. So I - so I broke off with him."

Suzy's eyes are watering. She blinks and the tears are sucked back in.

"He begged me to wait...he says he loves me, but he's attracted to her, he's torn...but I told him, he didn't have to choose anymore, it's over, and I don't want him back."

Suzy gazes blankly across the street, her eyes ruddy and raw, her face pinched, her shoulders hunched. She looks broken.

We're seated at Table 22, at the same window in the same cafe where she told me about her two previous breakups. What is it about this table? It's where love goes to die.

"He's an asshole," I say, reaching out, and squeezing her hand across the table. "He doesn't deserve you. You're better off without him. It's a good thing you found out now, rather than later."

Suzy starts to cry.

"I loved him," she whispers. "I still love him. He hurt me so, but I still love him." Her tears flow faster.

"You'll - " learn to love again, I start to say. But I stop. Who am I to promise such a thing? Empty words, meaningless in the reality of her heartbreak and her pain. "You'll survive this," I say instead. "You're strong and you're amazing. He's a fool and an idiot and he's going to realise that he's made the stupidest mistake of his life very, very soon."

"Do you think I did the right thing?"

If I were Suzy, I would have fought for him, tooth and nail. I would have squashed that little slut like a fly. Nobody takes what's mine.

But Suzy is not me. Suzy doesn't fight dirty like me. She's too nice, too kind.

"Sweetie, nothing you do would make him stay if he doesn't want to stay. If he wants to leave you, he'll leave you. It's just a question of when. You can't hang onto someone who doesn't want you anymore."

"Maybe, I'm not pretty enough..." Suzy says, listlessly rubbing her face. "Maybe, if I were prettier, he wouldn't be looking at another girl."

"No, stop saying that, Suzy. You're beautiful. If that asshole had truly loved you, he'd make you feel safe enough to be yourself. He'd never make you doubt yourself."