If I Were A Boy (camren)

Chapter Sixteen

I enjoyed being home whenever it was an option, and I liked it even more now since the addition of avoiding Camila was available. Walking around the simple, yet tight hallways made me forget about the swallowing backstage ones; it felt nice. I waddled into the kitchen with a yawn, my eyebrows instantly perking up at the sight of my mom extending the dinner table outwards with a few extra place mates.

"We're having company tonight?" I asked her with a frown. "But I literally just got home yesterday. I need time to relax mom, settle in."

"I'm sure you had tons of time to do that while you were on tour," Clara smiled sweetly in my direction as she perked her head up slightly, a second after returning to the table setting. 

"Especially with all my panic attacks," I joked, but my mother was not fond of my attempt at laughter. Once she showed no emotion, just a side of anger, I immediately headed to her side and began to assist her. "So, who's coming over? Dad's clients? Neighbors?"

"The Cabello's," she hummed and moved her way out of the dining area to the kitchen through the swinging door.

After a few moments, realization had finally kicked in. I chased down after Clara, barley spitting out my words, "W-what?"

She furrowed her eyebrows and stopped stacking plates, "Everything alright with that? You and Camila are such close friends, and your father and I haven't dined with Sinu and Alejandro in forever. I just thought-"

"But we just saw each other," I waved my hands around to cut my mom off. "You know, we're in this group together called Fifth Harmony. We were on tour for the last few months!"

I felt my chest begin to heave in and out at the familiar unsteady pace, and an obnoxious ringing in my ears started to silence the outside world. I caressed each side of my head in my hands, my right palm flinching at the touch of the crossing scars.

"Lauren? Sweetie? Are you feeling alright?"

I lowered myself slowly to the ground as my eyelids flickered at the same speedy measurement as the pounds in my head. The walls of the small kitchen suddenly became even tinier, making everything in my vision swirl around likes the waves of the Miami ocean. Before I could alert my mom what was really happening, my body collapsed under my hold.

*

"See, I told you Mrs. Jauregui. There is no need for a hospital, she's really alright," Camila's sweet voice was the first sound that spun through my restarting brain when I came back to the real world again. The casual blurry sight didn't stop me from eyeing my surroundings; something I had fixed onto my 'what you do when you wake back up from your panic attack' list. 

Camila was positioned just to the left me, while I was tucked comfortably under the covers of my own bed. Clara stood at the end of the bed, nervously twisting her fingers around as she every so often wiped below her eyes in a sign that she had been crying. No one else was around, but there was erupting noises coming from below me; mostly bellows of deep, manly laughter. 

"I really don't think she should join us tonight," Clara bit the inside of her cheek, reminding me of something Camila would usually do. "Is that fine honey? Maybe it would be best for you to just rest it out up here."

"What I've wanted this whole entire night," I muttered and rolled my eyes around, avoiding any contact with Camila. "Tell the Cabello family I'm really sorry."

"They don't need your apology, I'm sure all they need to know is that you're okay," Clara smiled before patting my stretched out knee and heading out of the room, leaving Camila and I by ourselves. Alone. Perfect.

A strange frost sent chills throughout my body, making me visibly shiver. I came to an agreement of making eye contact with the girl, "Can you get me a blanket or something? It's really cold in here."

"I think this'll help," she shrugged, removing an ice pack off from a place on my head that was unknown to me. "Sorry, it was my idea. Thought it would make you wake up faster."

"Why would you want that?" I scoffed. "I'm sure you love to see me quiet and out like a light."

She pursed her lips together, "How shallow do you think I am, Lauren?"

"Shallow enough to make the moves on me one day and tell me it was nothing the next."

Her mouth opened, but instantly shut once she realized I had won again. Camila turned away from me, standing from her position beside my weak and sleepy body. She was grumbling a couple of things to herself as she headed back to the door.

"Wait."

The hoarse tone that had just rose from my throat was nothing I had ever heard before. It sounded desperate, needy, almost lonely.

"Please don't go," I felt my chest shake with every word that I spoke. "I'm still cold."

"I'll get you a blanket then," she sneered and walked out of my bedroom.

A few short seconds later she returned, a medium-sized blanket where fur covered every single inch. Camila still had a frustrated look plastered across her face as she approached me and spread the warmth over my covered body.

"Better?" She questioned with a bit of rudeness and sarcasm.

"No. Still cold," I pushed.

Camila glared deeply into my eyes, letting out a huff of air, "Well what the hell do you want me to do, Jauregui?"

I frowned at the angry use of my last name, scratching the top of my head, "Sit here with me. We don't need to talk, or look at each other, just please sit here with me."

"I'd rather not. You're mad at me, remember?" She explained only above a whisper, her vicious look dropping. 

"Actually, I thought you were mad at me also," I wiggled my eyebrows in attempt to lighten the mood. 

"Why are you doing this Lauren?" Camila suddenly blurted out as she sat herself at the edge of my bed, far away from me. 

I frowned with confusion, "What am I doing?"

"Why are you having panic attacks? Why are you mad at me? Why did you dress up as Louis?"

"Hold on a second," I sat up and cut her off before she could continue any further.  "Why am I mad at you? Why did I dress up as Louis? Why am I having panic attacks?! Jesus Camila, where have you been the last few days of your life! I told you this, every single part! I'm mad you for calling that kiss worthless. I'm having serious anxiety because you're always around, and I worry about you. And finally, why did I dress up as Louis? It was an opportunity for you to actually like me enough, to fall in love with me."

There was a deep period of silence before Camila decided to speak up again, "But, I can't fall in love with you."

"I never said I was asking you too, Camila," I hissed and then started to kick her gently with my feet under the covers. I was furious with her, but I wasn't going to physically hurt her. "I'd actually prefer you not to sit with me."

"Laur-"

"Or talk to me."

She sighed and stood up, however she didn't walk towards the door; Camila began to walk towards me. 

"Did you hear what I-"

Camila interrupted me with a forceful kiss, instantly mashing her tongue between my lips and exploring the depths inside. It felt filled with sorrow, but that didn't stop me from slipping a moan into her throat. I felt her small hand rub the side of my torso soothingly, tickling the fabric concealing my skin as our mouths moved rhythmically in sync. I felt my whole body tense up once Camila began to lift up my t-shirt, and she noticed it too. Camila moved her lips away from my mouth that was lacking in breathing, and moved them to my right ear. 

"I can like you, can't I?" She softly admitted to me, nipping at my earlobe shortly after. 

"No."

 

[A/N] sorry for keeping you waiting.