Y/N feels like she's suffocating.
She's on the kitchen floor, trying to cool her skin with the tile, sitting criss cross with her arms limp at her sides trying to stop her chest from heaving. This is the third one this week, and she's rather angry at herself. Big things usually set her off, but it seems that since she's had a stressful week, the smallest things can be the culprits. Like a few minutes ago, she was trying to organize the spoons and forks into a nice arrangement in the drawer beside the refrigerator, and she became overwhelmed by it all. She didn't know her and Harry owned so much silverware.
It freaked her out, started breathing heavily until she finally sat herself on the floor. She's been down there for about 10 minutes she guesses but really time is distorted for her when having an attack. A thing that irks her is that according to psychologists, panic attacks aren't real. They're only anxiety attacks with bursts of panic throughout. She'd beg to differ.
A cry breaks through her chest, mentally yelling at herself for having another attack. She wishes she could control it. Usually she goes on walks, look at the sky, or does breathing exercises to get through it, but she uses an app for that and her phone is in the living room. She musters up some strength and stands, resting her weight against the counter and counts to 10.
Luckily a few seconds later she hears the front door open. "Baby girl?" Harry's thick, deep voice fills her ears and metaphorically the hole in her chest she feels. He enters the kitchen, eyes focused on his girlfriend looking worn out with her hands behind her on the counter. Her cheeks are stained from tears, her lip quivering. "Honey, what's wrong?" He speed walks over to her, although keeping his distance because he doesn't know what's going on but if she is having an anxiety attack, he knows she doesn't like being coddled because it makes her even more suffocated. "Tell me what happened."
She releases a string of hiccups as she tries to speak. "I... the forks... there's so many... overwhelmed me-"
Harry knows instantly what's happening, wanting to hug her but he knows that'll make it worse so he just strokes her arm. "You sweet girl, I'm sorry you're going through this. What can I do to make you feel better? Want some chocolate milk?"
To an outsider's perspective, the question seems silly but the beverage soothes her, distracting her with the taste and cooling her insides. She nods, whining a bit. He scuries off to retrieve it for her, pouring it into a cup and standing back next to her to hold it for her to give her little sips. She's thankful she didn't have to hold it herself, she's comfortable with her hands behind her back. She gulps down the whole cup, feeling a bit better. Looking at Harry, she wants to kiss away the wrinkles on his forehead because she hates seeing him upset. She can't imagine how he must be feeling right now looking at her. The fact that she must be making him sad, makes her sad - as twisted as that is. She pouts, wrapping her arms around him and feeling his big hands rub up and down her back.
"Feel better?" He kneads his knuckles into her skin, working out some knots and she lets him so maybe she won't be wound up so tight.
"Not completely, but yes." Kissing his jaw, she breathes in his scent, letting his cologne fill her nostrils. "Thank you."
He kisses the top of her head. "Of course. I hate seeing you like that. Makes my heart break."
"I'm sorry." She feels her chest tighten at his words. She never wants to hurt him.
"No, nothing to be sorry for, lovie. You can't control when this happens." His voice a whisper in her ear. "But we can learn how to get through them, yeah? Make it easier for the next?"
"I wish there wouldn't be a next." Fisting his shirt comforts her to some extent, likes feeling him so close.
"I know, darling. But we should be prepared, no? And we can do things to unstress you throughout the week. How about every night before bed, we do a little skin scare routine or something to spoil ourselves with. Does that sound good?"
Y/N feels almost 100% better, and gosh she's the luckiest girl in the world for having Harry as her boyfriend.
