Awesome Short Stories

A Home Alone Parody

Cast

Jack: Kevin McAllister

Me: Peter McAllister

countrystronggirl: Kate McAllister

Charlie: Uncle Frank

Armando: Buzz

Walter: Cop/Harry

Tina: Linny

Samuel: Fuller

Jack: Mom, Uncle Frank won't let me watch the movies, but the big kids can! Why can't I?

countrystronggirl: Kevin, I'm on the phone.

Jack: It's not even rated R. He's just being a jerk.

countrystronggirl: Kevin, if Uncle Frank says no, then it must be really bad. No, we're not bringing the dog, we're putting him in the kennel.....

Jack: *jumps on the bed*

countrystronggirl: Kevin, out of the room!

Jack: Hang up the phone, and make me, why don't you!

countrystronggirl: This kid!

Me: Hey, Kate, did you pack my razor?

countrystronggirl: I didn't have time to do that.

Me: How am I supposed to shave in France?

countrystronggirl: Grow a goatee.

Jack: Dad, nobody won't let me do anything.

Me: I got something for you to do. You can pick up those Micro Machines. Aunt Leslie stepped on one, and almost broke her neck.

Next scene.....

Tina: Look, Kevin, what are you so worried about. You know Mom's gonna pack your stuff anyway. You're what the French call: Les imcompent ta! PS, you have to share a room with Fuller. If he has something to drink, he'll wet the bed.

Jack: This house is so full of people, and it makes me sick! When I grow up, I'm living alone! Do you hear me?! *jumps up and down* I'm living alone! I'm living alone!

Next scene....

Jack: Did anyone order me a plain cheese?

Armando: Oh yeah, we did, but if you want any, somebody's gonna have to barf it all up, cause it's gone!

Fuller's Mom: Fuller, go easy on the Pepsi!

Samuel: *smiles*

Armando: Kevin, get a plate! *fake barfs*

Jack: *gets angry and rushes into Buzz*

Samuel: Wow! *gets out of his seat*

Me: Passports! Watch it!

Fuller's Mom: Honey, you alright?

countrystronggirl: What's the matter with you?!

Jack: He started it! He ate my pizza on purpose! He knows how much I hate sausage and olives....

Charlie: LOOK WHAT YOU DID, YOU LITTLE JERK!

Jack: *looks at the mess he made and everyone is mad at him*

countrystronggirl: Kevin, upstairs right now!

Jack: Why?

Jeff: Kevin, you're such a disease!

Jack: Shut up!

Me: Kevin, upstairs!

countrystronggirl: Say good night, Kevin!

Jack: Good night, Kevin! Why do I always get treated like scum? How come you didn't bring any more cheese pizzas?

Pizza Man: Nice tip, thanks a lot.

Walter: Having a reunion or something?

countrystronggirl: No, we're going to Paris, so we can spend the holidays, together.

Walter: You're taking a trip to Paris?

countrystronggirl: Yes, we hope to leave tomorrow morning.

Walter: Excellent, excellent!

countrystronggirl: If you don't mind, this one is a little out of sorts. I'll be right back.

Walter: Now, don't worry. I already spoke to your husband. And don't worry about your home! It's in good hands!

countrystronggirl: There are 15 people in this house, and you're the only one who has to make trouble!

Jack: I'm the only getting dumped on!

countrystronggirl: You're the only one acting up, now get upstairs!*opens the door*

Jack: I am upstairs, dummy! The 3rd floor?

countrystronggirl: Go!

Jack: It's scary up there!

countrystronggirl: Don't be silly, Fuller will be up there in a little while.

Jack: I don't want to share a bed with Fuller! You know him! He wets the bed! He'll pee all over me, I know it!

countrystronggirl: Fine, we'll put him somewhere else.

Jack: I'm sorry.

countrystronggirl: It's too late, get upstairs.

Jack: *walks upstairs* Everyone in this family hates me.

countrystronggirl: Then, maybe you should ask Santa for a new family.

Jack: I don't want a new family! I don't want any family! Families suck!

countrystronggirl: Just stay up there, I don't want to see you again for the rest of the night!

Jack: I don't want to see you again, for the rest of my life! And, I don't want to see anyone else, either!

countrystronggirl: I hope you don't mean that. You'd be pretty upset, if you woke up, tomorrow morning and didn't have a family.

Jack: No, I wouldn't.

countrystronggirl: Then, say it again. Maybe, it'll happen.

Jack: I hope I never see any of you jerks, again! *storms upstairs and climbs into the bed* *thinking* I wish they would all just disappear.....

This story was written on Sunday, March 15th, 2020.

A/N Will Jack get what he wants? Beware the wet bandits! I love Home Alone! I know Christmas isn't for several months, yet, but I just felt like writing this! Jack will wish that he went to Paris with us! Ha ha! Anyway, don't be a silent reader. Please leave feedback. Thanks! ❤😘😘❤❤😘❤😘❤😘❤😘❤😘❤😘💙💙💙💙💙💙💙