i shook that thought out of my head and confidently double tapped that post. i don't care if she thinks i'm stalking her. i want her to know i've seen it. i sigh and lock my phone, and shove it back in my pocket. that's enough silvana for today. i sit up from my slouchy position on the sofa and hear the front door unlock and reveals johnson.
"what going on with you?" i guess he's noticed the stress on my face. i just sighed and buried my head in my palms.
"madison?" he guesses
"not even close" i respond "groupie?" he guesses again
"dude, i wish it were." i take my head out my palms to find him with a puzzled look on his face. "then who?"
i took a huge breath and let out "silvana bro"
"silvana?!" he blurted "your ex?" i nodded in response and placed my head back in my palms. "when did you even come in contact with her again?" he asked, completely gobsmacked.
"i actually blame you" i state "why?" he asks
"she's my therapist" i look up at him and his eyes widen
"your kidding right?" he laughs. i stare at him with a blank expression and he slowly stops laughing.
"you're not kidding." he says. "when did she even come back to la?" he asks
i shrug my shoulders taking a guess "i think like a year or two ago" he puts his bag down and comes to take a seat next to me.
"so why are you stressing out so much? isn't she helping you?" he questions "i mean it is kind of her job-"
"bro she's doing a great job. it's just me" i say sitting back against the sofa once again
"well, what about you?"
"bro, i think i'm starting to feel something for her again." i confess. he scoffs and snorts. the fuck?
"you do realise and remember that you left her. right?" i groan loudly and lean forward resting my elbows on my knees
"i know, i know and as much as i hate reminding myself that i did. i regret it so much" i whine.
"how's she been anyways?" he asks. yes! i can talk about her. "bro, she's changed so much. her face, body, personality. i mean is it even possible for your personality to even upgrade?! i don't understand it." i vent
"woah bro" he chuckles "calm down. lemme see a photo of her now." he demands. i pull my phone out of my pocket again and go to her instagram and show him a photo.
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he leans closer to my phone and looks "holy moly" he mumbles. "she has changed" he says emotionless "sis is getting her coin too." he adds. i snicker at his remark and put my phone back into my pocket.
"so how's your sessions been with her?" he asked
"bro, i fucked her" i exclaim. he glared back at me with wide eyes. "what the hell?!" he exclaims back at me
"yeah, earlier today" i confess "that says a lot about her huh?" he mumbles. i look at him and shake my head "her first time since us."
"and how would you know that?" he asks, keeping a straight face. "bro, she was as tight as me and you" i snort. he laughs "you better wife her up." he says "if it only it were that easy." i sigh
"so what about madison?" he asks. what about madison? i just shrug my shoulders, not really knowing an answer. "i mean, there is still feelings there for her and i am still angry, and i do miss her, but-" i just stop myself.
"but- i don't know. i just don't know how to feel about her. especially after what she's done, you know." i consoled. johnson nods in agreement. "i've always liked silvana better anyways. don't know what you were thinking whilst cheating on her." he states patting my left knee whilst getting up from the sofa.
i giggle and look down at my lap. i wonder how madison's doing anyways. i haven't heard her voice in years.
maybe i should check up on her.
i take a deep breath and let it go. i stood up from the sofa and made my way up to my bedroom. i need to sleep. today has been absolutely wild.
