therapist | jack gilinsky

twenty three

i sigh as i lay back in my bed and shove my hair back and out of my face. all i could think of was jacks words running through my head.

"let me repair you." i sigh and shove my head in my arms.

call him

i roll my eyes and shake my head. he cheated on me for goodness sakes.

yeah, 3 years ago. things change...

i groan and fake cry. why is love so annoying?

i reach and grab my phone from my night stand and check the time.

1:37am. surely he's awake. i look at the call icon and just stare at it as if it's having a staring contest with me. i close my eyes and quickly tap it.

i open my eyes and i'm on the calling screen. i sigh and put it on speaker and let it ring. the calling sign turns into zeros signaling he's answered.

"silv?" his deep voice rings through my speakers.

my mouth opened but my i was literally choking on my own breath.

"silvana?" he questions

"c-come over" i stutter.

"yeah sure, is everything okay?" he asks, getting kinda worried.

"just come over." i say and quickly end the call. i sigh and sit back in my bed and wait.

i wonder what he was doing. i shrug it off and laid back in my bed.

15 minutes later my phone buzzes and jack messaged me to come open the door. i get up and go downstairs and unlock the gate with my keypad, i open the door slightly and jack enters and shuts the door behind him.

"you alright, what's up?" he asks, worriedly. i just shrug and face him. he stares back into my eyes and just looks at me. we stare at each other straight for the next couple of seconds in silence, until he breaks it.

"why are your nipples always hard?" i groan and shove my head in my palms. what is wrong with this guy?

"no seriously, it's barely ever cold in your house and your nipples are always hard as fuck."

"i don't know jack, i cant always control them." i say lifting my head up.

"i know when i do." he smirks, which automatically causes me to roll my eyes. he laughs and moves closer to me. he switches his position and lays his body down and let his head rest on my lap.

"why did you call me here princ- silv?" he corrects. my heart immediately flutters at the shortened nickname.

i shrug, starting to play with hair whilst he lays on my lap. "i dunno, i think i just wanted some company."

"and jess wasn't available?" he asks. shit, he's onto me.

"no, jess wasn't." i reply. "okay, i see." he says. "so why me though, i'm still genuinely confused." he states.

should i just tell him? it's now or never, i mean i did call him here to tell him, so why shouldn't i? i might as well.

my mouth opens but nothing comes out again. i end up sighing. i'm never gonna get this out.

"silvana?" he questions

"i want you, jack." i blurt out.

"what?" he gasps, sitting up "like physically, because we can-"

i roll my eyes "no jack, like..." i pause

"i want you back typa want you." he looks me deep in my eyes. he's trying to cover his smile with a straight and serious face.

"are you sure?" he consoles. i nod my head reassuring myself that i definitely am.

"s- so, you want to be my girlfriend again?" he asks. i inhale deeply and nod.

"then let me at least do the honours." he grabs the haribos out of the bag of snacks he brought and takes the ring shaped one and faced me.

i scrunch my brows as he got down on his one knee.

"silvana.." he looks down and continues "the first thing i wanna say and the most important is that.. i'm sorry, i know it doesn't sound genuine and i know the amount of apologies i may say definitely doesn't make up the amount of pain i've caused you but silvana. please believe me when i say this. i swear to you, on your life, i won't ever treat you like i did before. the amount of regret that runs through me daily is unbearable silv." he pauses.

my heart...

"i want to replace those bad memories with happy ones with you. i want to travel with you, hell i wanna marry you and breed with you." i chuckle, with the tears rolling down my eyes.

"silvana, i love you." i smile "i would definitely, one hundred percent want you to be my girlfriend." he smiles, giving me the haribo ring. i lightly chuckle and sniffle, taking it. i shove it in my mouth instead of placing it on my finger. jacks eyes widen and he gasps. i laugh and chew on it.

he shrugs and tackles me into the sofa and kisses me all over.

i swear to god, it feels like the heaviest weight has just been shoved off my shoulders.