therapist | jack gilinsky

twenty

my eyes squint open as i look around my surroundings and smile. silvanas room. i look to my side and it was empty. i sit up from my spot and look around. cute room. i come out of her bed and realised i was completely naked. i sigh and see her bathroom in the corner of her room. i make my way into there and grab a towel to wrap around me.

i make my way downstairs and find silvana sitting on her kitchen stool, facing the other way. i smiled and walk up to her till she recognises me.

"morning" she mumbles, scrolling through her phone. "hey"

i sat down beside her and admire her. but before i could get into full detail she faced me and made a face.

i laugh at her expression "what time did you wake up?" i ask

"about an hour ago" she says replies to me. i watch her get up to go throw her bread crumbs in the bin. my eyes wanders around her body.

there's definitely nothing under that silk robe of hers. i shake my head and shift my thoughts elsewhere. "so..." i start. she turns back around sits on the kitchen stool. she raises her brows waiting for my next line. shit, i dunno what to say next.

"so h-how'd you like the ep?" i stutter. really? you just had sex with her and now you're stuttering in front of her?

she laughs "it was nice, and really calming." she says "i dunno it just puts me at ease."

"well glad to know my lyrics affect you in that way." i respond

"even though they were about madison" she mumbles probably thinking i wouldn't hear.

after comprehending her words i scrunch my brows "those lyrics are about you silv." she looks at me with her eyes slightly widening. "nothing to do with madison" i reassure

"w-what?" she stutters. "how even?" she asks

"i mean, i wrote the lyrics. i would know what i mean." i cockily smirk. she starts scrolling through her phone and distraction started playing.

aw she downloaded the ep.

"i can see that you've been hurt, baby don't beat yourself up, be right here with me now."

she raised her brows motioning the lyric. i just shake my head and laugh.

"all of your tears he ain't worth em', well yeah that isn't love, i'm right with you now."

she leans against her kitchen table and gains more suspicious of the lyrics, still thinking her point is valid. this time i roll my eyes.

"just let it all go, and i'll pull you close. we'll take it real slow."

she pauses it and stands back up straight. "pretty sure that sums up your recent madison situat-"

"silvana. it's about you." i confirm. at least without hesitation this time. "h-how?" she stutters, shocked.

i sigh "think of it like, a new me. you see the first lines. it kinda reminded me when..." i hesitate, reminiscing that day "when... we met at jackies café and talked things over. i mean. you looked really messed up silv." i mutter, hanging my head low, regretting everything i did back then. "i saw it, your eyes, your posture, everything."

"obviously back then, i didn't seem to care as much but now when i think of it. i just think who the fuck was i?" i confess "that can't have been me, and when i actually realise that it was me, i feel a pang of regret strike through me." i slowly look back up to her and read her facial expression: sorrow.

"and the second lyric, was when we first met again after years, in your office and you ran out in tears. i felt more than just guilt silv, you don't understand." admit. "i mean, yeah just think of the lyrics as the new me addressing the old me, and trying to comfort you again and i dunno, somehow regain your trust for me again?" i said in more of a questionable way.

"so what about last thing?" she asks. damn. this ones tight. i just laugh and look at her with a slight smirk.

"remember that time, in our session, that lucas guy messaged you, i accidentally took your phone home and said all those things to him when he called?" she raised her left brow and gave me a look.

she's so hot, jesus. "lemme guess. you didn't want anything to happen between him and i." she says walking over to her fridge. "which made it the last thing you wanted, and sabotage anything between us, or what you thought might happen between us." yeah, she's good.

"spot on" i smile leaning back on the kitchen stool.

"and falling?" she says sipping on her apple juice, leaning against the counter once again. i smirk remembering this one.

"the time i came over and made kool aid. i left thinking about us, and couldn't stop thinking about us." i roll my eyes, i sound so pathetic right now. "and then i had sex with you the next day in your office and realised i definitely need you back."

her eyes widen and she almost chokes on her beverage. right now. i don't give a shit. i'll tell her anything she wants to know, then i'm gonna ask her about a little something too.

"and hurt people?" i raised my brows and pursed my lips.

"when we finished having sex, and you instantly told me to leave your office because you didn't want to get hurt again, i'm guessing. and you seemed to be in deep thoughts before you told me so i'm guessing your weapons aka your thoughts is what made you do that me." i'm enjoying this.

it's kinda like my interview with genius but more straight forward and having to cover up my actual reasons.

"and last but not least. 2 cigarettes?"

"i wrote this during the month we stopped talking. i kinda felt like that would be the last of us. like we'd never see each other again. like properly, you know what i mean?" she nods her head and walks over the kitchen counter and sat on top of it.

from where i was sitting i could see under her robe. don't be a perv jack. don't be a perv.

"so you took all of our situations and turned them into lyrics?" she seems really intrigued by it.

i shrug and smile. "i mean you are my therapist. you inspired me and got me in the mood to write proper lyrics again." she genuinely smiles at me and shifts on the table closer to my stool and hugged me from my shoulders.

"i missed this particular jack." she mumbles into my neck. i smile and hug her back by grabbing her waist.

"me too"
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don't know if you'd consider a long chapter but here it is anyways! :)

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