The Darkness We Share

The Premonition.

After Zak had drifted into a slumber, I found myself entranced in a contemplative state. Could life genuinely manifest such profound contentment? The realization that the person who could elicit such ease in embracing my true self emerged from a history fraught with darkness is a remarkable juxtaposition. Beneath the shadowy layers, Zak exudes a luminance that captivates, a facet not always apparent to those outside our intimate sphere. His smiles radiate joy into those fortunate enough to bask in the glow; his laughter becomes infectious.

As the moon held its vigil in the night sky, I lay here immersed in contemplation, absorbing the present moment with a sense of serenity. Eventually, my eyelids yielded to the embrace of slumber.

Within my dream, I found myself amidst a verdant expanse, my gaze directed towards a dense forest. Dressed as if I was from the mid-1800s, featuring cream hues interspersed with horizontal blue stripes, I spun around to glean insights into my surroundings, reminiscent of an ancient village in what seemed like Connecticut.

A male voice, distant yet distinct, reached my ears, compelling me to pivot, spotting what looked like Zak – although he was not in his typical attire but rather slacks, a brown vest, and a white shirt. Curiously, the name "Anthony" reverberated within me, momentarily obscuring his identity. This perception of Zak, or rather Anthony, was transitory, the backdrop altering as he transitioned into a tuxedo, hair slicked to the sides with a slight finger wave accenting his front fringe. His hand extended toward me, simultaneously, I observed my own transformation, now swathed in a white gown. Were these visions, or rather, a glimpse into our shared past? 

As our hands connected, the world blurred and darkness enveloped me, a cry reverberating through the void. My awareness shifted to a scene laid out where I lay beside Zak or should I say, Anthony, in bed. A white bassinet draped in clothes was positioned nearby. Within it rested a swaddled baby, concealed beneath a beige blanket. Gender eluded me, but its joyous expressions communicated universal understanding. My arms encircled the infant, and at that moment, an all-encompassing sense of wholeness and euphoria surged within me. A cascade of emotions swelled, crystallizing into a perfect symphony of happiness. A shiver traversed my spine, a poignant reminder that even the most idyllic moments are fleeting. The void receded, releasing its grip, and my consciousness returned. 

Returning to the realm of wakefulness, I found myself met by Zak's gaze. His smile, a silent embrace of warmth, enveloped me. Within the depths of my consciousness, a realization stirred — a profound recognition of the swiftness with which my sentiments towards Zak had evolved. The dream's narrative hinted at the notion that our souls possess an intrinsic knowledge of each other, perhaps spanning epochs. Could it be that the affinity we share extends across various lifetimes, manifesting in roles as lovers, united by the continuity of our spirits?

In the wake of this revelation, an impulse surged within me, compelling me to draw Zak close for a kiss. The touch of our lips precipitated a deeper revelation than the dream had initially presented. An ethereal sequence unfurled before me, showcasing four past lives in rapid succession. Across these temporal backdrops, Zak and I stood adorned in attire reflective of different centuries, yet our hands remained invariably entwined, rings adorning our fingers. This sequence underscored the continuity of our connection, transcending centuries and lands.

As the tableau of history unfolded, it became apparent that our shared journey transcended time, reaching as far back as the 1600s. Through the annals of history, across England, New England, and now the western expanse, our souls found each other unerringly. The convergence of our spirits has been a recurring motif, a pattern that has persevered across ages.

Engulfed by curiosity, my mind races with questions that beg exploration. The urge to delve into research grips me, compelling me to uncover the chronicles of each of our past lives. The narratives of these lifetimes await discovery, the stories of our union, the progeny we may have nurtured, and the consistency of a 10-year interval between our earthly encounters.

"June," Zak's voice interjected, breaking my concentration. Observing his bewildered countenance, I surmised that the visions I had just experienced might have also unfolded before his eyes.

"Did you..." I began hesitantly, my words trailing off as I grappled with the notion of how my inquiry might come across.

"We've traversed four lives together," he uttered softly, his words heavy with the weight of revelation.

"Yes, I saw it too," I affirmed, aiming to alleviate any apprehension he might be harboring.

The magnitude of the revelation still seemed to hold Zak in its grip. His sense of astonishment was palpable as he navigated the implications of what had transpired.

"Amidst all my instincts, I never could have foreseen something as profound as past lives binding us," Zak confessed, his demeanor reflecting a mixture of amazement and incredulity. Seeking solace within our connection, he allowed me to take his hand, my thumb tracing soothing patterns along his palm.

"The sense of belonging I've always felt with you, it now finds its origin," I acknowledged, my admission ushering forth a newfound clarity. With a surge of emotion, I drew him into my embrace, and our connection solidified by a tender kiss that spoke volumes beyond words.