Kim Jonghyun's Long Lost Sister

Chapter 17/ Special Chapter 17

“J-J-Jonghyun?”

Kibum couldn’t believe what he was seeing, he asked himself in thought that was this a dream or a nightmare that will unfold.

“Yea, it’s me” Jonghyun scratched the back of his head “You idiot” Jonghyun looked to Kibum, shocked to see the man in tears. “H-Hey, what’s wrong?” Jonghyun reached out his hand and wrapped himself around the crying man “Why?” Kibum said while his tears continuously flow out from his eyes “What?” Jonghyun pulled away from the hug and tried to understand what Kibum said.

“Why did you do it?” Kibum cried harder and Jonghyun pulled for another hug “I’m sorry” Jonghyun felt so bad, seeing his fellow member cry from his actions. Kibum then pulled away from the hug “I shouldn’t have let myself be so busy with this work without the group…… I should have helped you” Kibum looked down “I shouldn’t have left you lonely from all the work” Kibum cried harder “I should have-“ “Kim Kibum!” Kibum jumped from the words that Jonghyun said “Stop blaming yourself please” Jonghyun looked to Kibum with his tears about to fall out his eyes.

“Please stop blaming yourself, it’s my fault” Kibum was shocked, he felt he made Jonghyun more upset “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that” Kibum reached out for Jonghyun and Jonghyun reached his hand to his hand “You’re really dead, aren’t you?” Kibum didn’t want to let go, he missed him and he wished he could change time to bring him back. Jonghyun then reached for the other hand which made him hold Kibum’s hands “Yea, I answered what you asked too” Kibum couldn’t believe what he heard “When I was here, I heard your voice” Jonghyun rubbed the back of the hands with his thumbs “I felt that I was there with you” Kibum looked to Jonghyun with his mouth slightly opened.

“When you said that I’ll meet you tonight, then here I am” Jonghyun looked down then went back to looking to Kibum “I’ll explain everything here” Kibum burst out crying again “Kibum, I’m really sorry” Jonghyun hugged him again. Kibum didn’t want this to be real, he wanted to see Jonghyun in person than in this empty place. He didn’t want to believe that Jonghyun will explain, he wanted to think that this was a joke. He might even wake up and not hear the news that he died.

“Is this real?” Kibum couldn’t face the reality he was meeting, he wanted to change things but the past won’t let him “Why did it have to go this way?” Kibum let go his hands to wipe off the tears he had “I’m really sorry, I didn’t want this to happen too but I couldn’t hold it” Jonghyun wiped off the tears with his hand.

“I couldn’t find the joy anymore” Kibum tried his best to stop his tears to listen to Jonghyun “Whenever I made music, I did still felt the joy I cherished but it would fade” Jonghyun grabbed both of the hands of Kibum to hold them again.

“I thought that if I made this music, I could have found her” Kibum cries were slowly stopping “But the pain I felt wouldn’t go away, I may get all the love from the Shawols but it didn’t feel right” Jonghyun looked down and signed deeply “No matter how many times I went to the psychiatrist to get better, it didn’t go away” Jonghyun let down his tears that he was holding “I wanted to reach out to you guys but I felt like that I could disturb you guys from your schedules” Kibum was upset with himself after he heard what Jonghyun explained to him.

“Jonghyun, this isn’t your fault” this time Kibum wiped off the tears of Jonghyun “We weren’t there for you, I blamed myself for it” “Kibum please stop blaming yourself” Kibum couldn’t help himself but burst out crying again. Kibum looked down, he felt so mad to himself.

“You know, you guys made me so happy today” Kibum looked to Jonghyun “You found her, my little sister” Jonghyun smiled “After all this years, I never thought that she was so far from us” Kibum looked down “How about we sit down, I don’t want us having our feet planted on the ground” Kibum giggled which made Jonghyun smile.

“She’s really like you Jonghyun” Kibum imagined Gabrielle with her smile “Your smile, bubbly self and so much more” Kibum fiddled with his fingers. Kibum then debated with his thoughts, he didn’t know what to say “You’re scared to tell her the truth, am I right?” Jonghyun said to fill the silent ambiance around them. Jonghyun fiddled with his fingers too “I thought so too that she could blame herself too” Kibumwas shocked that it seemed that heard everything they said “I wanted to meet her after the day I died but she wouldn’t understand it yet” Jonghyun looked up “I saw people all around, crying and mourning for me” Kibum then went to Jonghyun side “Then I saw her too, she cried” Kibum slowly leaned towards Jonghyun and this made Jonghyun smile, he knew Kibum wanted to cherish this moment.

“She kept telling herself that this world has lost a precious soul and that it wasn’t my time” Jonghyun looked down “I wanted to hug her and tell her that I was sorry” Jonghyun imagined the thought that he was with his long lost sister, after all this time.

“And then I tried entering your dreams and I had failed so many times” Kibum looked to Jonghyun “But this is my first time meeting you in your dream” Kibum slowly sat up “You tried to get in our dreams? How did you do it?” Jonghyun then scratched his head and thought “It’s kinda hard to explain” Jonghyun then looked to his watch “Kibum, I think you need to wake up now” Jonghyun said while he looked to his watch sadly “Why?” Kibum didn’t want to wake up, he missed him so much and he wanted to spend more time with Jonghyun.

“You’re about to land and Minho would wake you up, it might frighten them that you won’t wake up” Kibum looked down from what Jonghyun “But I promise, I’ll try me best to meet you here again and talk to you again” Kibum then hugged Jonghyun and the man was shocked from the sudden hug but he smiled and hugged Kibum too.

“Thank you Jjong, for making this happen”

“You’re welcome, Kibummie”     

Author’s note:

               Okay, I got something to share. I felt so emotional when writing this chapter and this is far the longest chapter I made for this book. I never thought that I could write this all in just one afternoon, this is my first special chapter. It’s special because Jonghyun’s here, from what I mean here is that, this chapter made me feel so immersed that I thought that he wasn’t dead but this is reality. Let us not forget Jonghyun-oppa and keep going on. Whenever you feel sad, please find someone to talk it out. You could write it instead if you’re not ready to share or you could draw it but please remember you are all loved. No matter how many obstacles hurt us, we can do this and reach the finish line. God bless you all.

Bogoshiptta Jonghyun-oppa.

                                                                                                                                                       -Tenserckard