I reference the two "gift" cards you gave me as "blood money". In reference to Kite Runner to all the gifts Amir received at the price of Hassan innocence and security. When I say "blood money" I have to laugh around the phrase, to prevent myself from breaking down, to pretend everything is okay. I act nonchalant though I doubt any of my friends know the meaning of the phrase anyway. I was the only one of us who took that Literature class.
You gave them to me, at least to my interpretation, because a year later you realized what you had done. And you felt sorry for it.
Biting my tongue looking at the Olive Garden and Barnes and Nobles "gift" cards hating the fact you were pretending to still know who I was. Disgusted even more that you do. That for the first time you acknowledge that you listened to anything about me and delivered your words without a backhanded remark like a slap that left a mark on my self esteem for days.
You feel guilty now, while I've felt dirty forever. You raped me and then I freaked out over getting pregnant, used my own money to buy plan B. Then in the letter you had the audacity to say the cards were $10 more than the actual cost of the pill.
Actually, "bless your heart", it was $10 more than what you gave me.
YOU ARE READING
Metamorphosis
Poetry"You do not cease to exist just because I wish you to." Started: 4/3/20 Finished: 8/20/20 My 6th poetry book.
