Kabanata 10
"I didn't know that the cafe has a rooftop." Gulat kong saad sa kanya.
My eyes sparkled as I looked at the rooftop patio, which had a wooden pergola covered in blooming blue harvestbells flowers and string lights. There was a soft white couch, a coffee table, and a white chair with cushions. I walked over to the railings, and as I held onto them, I looked up at the sky. Dusk was coming, painting the horizon in shades of blue, red, and orange.
Nang kumalma ako kanina ay inaya niya ako mag kape, at pumayag naman ako. Hindi naman ako tumatanggi sa kape.
I heard him chuckled. Tumabi naman ito sa tabi ko, nakatingala rin siya, maiging pinagmamasdan ang paglubog ng araw. "Hindi pwede ang mga ibang customers dito. Palagi ako nandidito kapag gusto ko magpahangin."
"It's peaceful here..." I stated before looking back at the sunset once again.
"And it's beautiful..." I heard him murmuring softly.
Nang tumingin ako sa kanya, napansin kong kanina pa niya ako tinitingnan. Pero noong magtagpo ang aming mga mata, bigla siyang tumingin sa ibang direksyon, namumula ang kanyang pisngi habang pinipilit niyang pigilin ang ngiti niya.
Umayos ito ng pagtayo at tumikhim, "I'll go make your favorite coffee." He stated.
"You know my favorite coffee?" I asked.
He smiled. "Of course."
Nang nagpaalam siya na umalis, tumango na lang ako bilang sagot. Nilibot ko muna ang rooftop saglit, hindi ko mapigilang humanga sa ganda nito. Simple lang siya kung tutuusin, pero kasabay ng pagyakap ng malamig na simoy ng hangin sa akin, parang lahat ng iniisip ko kanina ay nawala.
Ang sarap mag muni-muni rito...
Napatigil naman ako nang may makita akong maliit na bluetooth speaker na mukhang baso na merong kape. Nagchat muna ako kay Liander, nagpapaalam kung pwede ko ba gamitin ang bluetooth speaker, at pumayag naman siya. Kaya agad naman ako nag connect sa bluetooth speaker.
When I opened my Spotify app, I searched for the right playlist for myself and found one that I thought suited my taste. When I played it on shuffle, the first song that played was Ocean Eyes by Billie Eilish.
Instead of enjoying the music, I suddenly feel something heavy...
And the song consumed my emotions, especially on the bridge part of the song... I admit, I am feeling sad. Normal lang naman ang makaramdam ng lungkot, pero hindi pwede na hanggang dito lang ako.
It's okay... It's okay to feel this way...
It's okay to be sad.
Or is it... Not okay?
Nang magsimulang mamuo na naman ang luha sa akin ay agad kong pinunasan ito.
Nang dumating si Liander ay may dala siyang isang tray na merong kape at iba pang pastries. Kumunot ang aking noo, "W-wala akong pera—"
"Are you okay?" Agad namang nilapag ni Liander ang tray tsaka kumuha ng tissue, tinanggap ko naman ang inalok niyang tissue tsaka pinunasan ang luha na tumulo galing sa mata ko.
"No, I'm not okay..." I answered honestly, tears still keep streaming down my face. Hindi ko magawang iangat ang aking mukha, dahil nahihiya akong makita ni Liander ang mukha ko na umiiyak.
"I was being harsh on myself these past few days, I pressured myself to suppress or deny my emotions. Kaya nagkaroon ako ng emotional breakdown kanina dahil ilang araw ko nang kinikimkim ang nararamdaman ko— pinipilit ko sabihin sa sarili ko na okay lang ako." Dire-diretso kong sabi, parang alon ang aking mga luha dahil sa sunod-sunod na pagbagsak nito, na kahit anong punas ko, ay meron paring tumutulo.

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