Realizing

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19-04-2020

Quarantine. Got me like this .

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He was now dragging me to our room with me following him sobbing again.

All the maids were bowing their heads to us like they can't seee him dragging me like some animal .

He pulled me in that room.

Yesterday thoughts came flooding to my mind .

I was looking around the room , then my attention went to the bed , where it all happened. The sheets are still dirty with my blood, I was looking at them .

My eyes were so fixed on the sheets. The nightmare that I lived came back to my mind.

The monster  who had did this to me came to my mind.

I was now on the ground leaning on the wall hugging myself crying .

He came closer to me. Too close

His feet were across mine and I just closed my eyes.

His hands came to my face , he pulled a stray of my hair and put it behind ma ear . My eyes still closed , not daring to look at him.

"well well well , what am I gonna do with you ?"

I put my hands on my ears and lowered my head as the memorries came back again , I was very afraid , I was scared and just repeated those words.

"Please don't touch me , please don't ruin me." I was now moving forwards and backwards repeating it over and over again, shivering and remembering every single moment...

"Hey Kayla calm down , I'm not gonna hurt you , not now."he was now trying  to get me calm but somehow i could not stop..

"Please don't touch me , please don't ruin me." I repeated again

"KAYLA STOP IT!!" He yelled at me and started to shake me but I just repeated them again. Until I felt water on my face.

Then it hit me.

I was hallucinating... for the first time ever.

I looked up confused and met the blue-ish eyes.

The devil's eyes.

I immediatley got up and headed to the shower not wanting any contact with him. But of course he had to grab me again .

I did not turn around but I was shivering like crazy.

"Hey go take a shower baby I'll introduce you to my parents and the wedding will be after tomorrow." He spoke and I just nodded trying to get my hand out of his strong grip .

"I can see you r scared of me bella ,maybe you should be after all." He shuckeled hard and got close , I just remaimed silent.

What he did next was unexpected.

He took me by my neck very harshly and started choking me very hard I couldn't breath . I tried to take his hand away but I was too fragile , very hungry and powerless.

He slammed me on the bathroom door very hard and I winced in pain.

"This is the last time you ever fucking dare to lay your hand on me , cause I won't hesitate breaking it okay!?? Do you hear me!?"  I nodded out of breath but still he wont let go . I was struggeling but nothing.

"And if I ever see you go near any guy again I will kill him okay?" I nodded again . "And forget about Tyler ."

He finally let go of me , and I catched my breath.

God please help me.

I started to shower thinking about everything again .

Tyler....

He loved me...

But

He hates me now..

My life is a mess now . I can not even report because he is the Mafia , he owns the police. Just tye way he owns me...

I started to rinse my body with the sponge and rubbing it too hard on every area he touched , hoping it would change anything , make me feel more pure, like before....

I was just crying and remembering everything ..

Those images wont get out of my head.

I needed a break from this ...

I looked at my reflection and what was in front of me disgusted me. I hate myself so much.

He made me hate myself.

I finally got out of the shower with a towel wrapped around my body.

He was waiting for me sitting on the now clean bed . Thank god.

I pulled the towel closer to me afraid that it would fall in front of him, he was eying me up and down and it disgusted me. Suddenly my stomach decided to grumble out of nowhere . I did not eat since yesterday morning.

"Go dress somethig presantable and then I am gonna send a maid to you with some food , after that we'll go to Father's house, and tomorrow is the wedding." He spoke getting up.

I just nodded.

"Hey , when I talk give me an answer." He demanded tajing my jaw in his hand.

"O-ok-a-aay." I was shivering again,

I hate this feeling to be owned like a pet.

I did not speak  to him since yesterday. I was too afraid of him.

He wins...

I wore this trendy casual flowery pink two shoulders down dress,this was the most unrevealing clothes i could find, I had my long brown hair down . And did hide my bruises and hickeys with some concealer , hoping they will fade forever.

I heard a light knok on the door .

I opened te door go see this young maid from the other day, with a tray full of nice looking food. I smiled at her trying to hide the pain inside.

"Mrs. Delluci, here is your food." She smiled at me shyly.

"Don't call me that. Please it is just Kayla." I confronted her , not wanting to be called by his name.

"Okay Kayla , I am Emma by the way." She smiled kindly.

"Nice to meet you girl. I guess you are my first friend in my new life." I smiled but this time I failed hiding the pain.

"Kayla I um- I am sorry for what happened to you."

"H-how do you know?" I asked gulping my saliva.

"We know everything." She gave me a sad smile.

I just shut my eyes looking down ashamed.

"You are a strong woman. Be patient, you are gonna get used to it." By that she walked away...

Used to it?!

Be patient?!

But what if I can't?!

I took my iphone from my purse to see what is up .

and what I saw made my blood boil.

In anger.

And in pain.

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