diary

19/4

i do not think i can do this anymore
i do not think i can smile and say
'i'm fine' anymore
i give up
i am tired of always being the one
to help everyone else
to give them advice
and tell them they are amazing
and they should not worry
about what everyone else says
i am done helping everyone
because when i need help they leave me
just like you did
just like he did
just like everyone does
if they have not left yet
they will eventually
because they do not actually
care if i am okay
they only care that they have
someone to help them
they do not care if it is me
or you
or anyone
they just want someone to talk to
but what about
the people who do not have someone
who is always there
we just smile
and say 'i'm fine'
because as long as we act the right
way
everyone believes us
but we want someine to ask
if we are okay
and we want them to actually mean it
we do not want them to ask because they think they have to
we want
no
we need them to ask and care
but that will never happen
and i give up trying
i hope my last breath
and my last goodbye
on this earth
are really soon