diary

9/7

i get told to share my feelings more

but i never really did

other than here

so this is me saying

i am not saying anyones names

but

fuck it.

i thought i wasn't ready

but i am

i just didn't think i could be

who you wanted me to be

you wanted

a perfect

kind

amazing

person

who would be there when you needed

but i can't do that

i can never do that

i am sorry for everything

i am sorry i only kinda talked about me

i am sorry i never asked about you

and i'm sorry i said i love you

i do not think i ever did

i just thought you wanted to hear it

so i said it

to make you happy

i am changed now

and i do not think i ever loved you

i have only ever loved one person

but they stabbed me in the back

so i said fuck it.

i am very sorry i lied to you

i am very sorry if i hurt you

i love her and you are related to her

and me hurting you is

in a way like me hurting her

but i never meant to

i am sorry to the both of you.

and i do like someone

i am sorry i ever said it was you

i only spoke to you

because she told me to

i thought it would make her happy

but i wasn't because

you aren't who i like

i like someone

and she is amazing

and she hasn't left my mind

since i got home

she is the only person i like

and you are not her

and im sorry.