AIM

22

y/n's pov

As to my dismay, the morning came back around, taunting me with a hint of the sun, creeping through the thick blinds. My room still lowly lit, a daunting silence hung over not only my mind but the warehouse. Turning over on my side, my eyes fixated on the one thing I tried the hardest to forget. His shirt. With that the silence had broken, and every word and emotion I had slept to rest was up on the surface, the surface I'd rather be six feet under; than rather think over mine and Jimin's last conversation. My mind ran through the motions, regret, anger, sadness, relief? There was no making sense of this at 7AM.

I let my mind travel to, well you. Namjoon. Thinking of his words, with jimin occupying my thoughts my mind hadn't had a chance to meltdown over those words. 'because I love you'. What love, what love could be formed from our reality. I don't know what's worse, feeling things for him too, or him loving me despite everything he's done.

I was tired of speaking to myself, and since I left abruptly after jimin entered the equation I never got to respond. Let alone react. Maybe that was for the better? I need to hear more, whether the truth scared me or not, would I ever believe his truths? The betrayal still stung.

I reached his door that I made every effort to flee the night before. Since it was early, I lightly knocked, in case of disturbing him. The knock came in three. Waiting for a couple minutes I heard no movement, a sad disappointment laced my emotions and I turned to leave, when I heard the door handle distinctively twist. Over my shoulder the light from the hallway emitted shadows across his face.

His face. It was cut up. My stomach dropped. Making no effort with polite gestures, pushing the door open, causing namjoon to move back instinctively, no attempt to stop me.

"What happened to your face, you're all cut up?" my alertness in my tone was one of many things: care, worry, anxiousness, fear? "Who did this?" I pressed further, "Namjoo—"

"Leave it" he brushed away my fingers that had grazed almost untouching across his cheek. This only sparked annoyance. "Tell me" his stern look gave every indication to drop it with a hint of 'I mean it' but as if that ever bothered me before; he knew that too.

"Why are you here?" he grunted.

I scoffed, "I wanted to talk about last night" his skin noticeably crawled, did he regret his words. Part of me hopes he did, that would make everything so much simpler.

"What part exactly, you see we spoke about a lot of things" his tone became snarky, excuse me I don't know where he was last night but it sure wasn't on the side of this. Tell me you love me then treat me this way not even several hours later.

"you know which part Namjoon." He sighed "fuck, fine, fine" gesturing for me to sit on the edge of his bed that I had become all too familiar with. And for a while I waited watching as his emotions draped across his face in all the colours, mixing together I couldn't differentiate one from the other.

"You already know what I did but not everything that followed. It's true, you did mean nothing to me. until I found myself longing for our long talks at night, wanting to open locked parts of myself with you. As these feelings grew, I couldn't ignore your feelings for Jimin and his for you. In my own selfish way, I tried to separate you two, I felt pathetic, stupid and beyond terrified that I knew I had no chance knowing everything I did. What I had already done, what I couldn't take back, but things I wish I could. You'd fall asleep at night and I'd lay there, whishing that in some other universe I could meet you again, not by force, not by carelessness, for the sole purpose of loving you."

Love. There it was again. The word I thought I'd dreamed, the word I tried convincing myself couldn't come out of his mouth; let alone towards me.

"In that universe, maybe you could love me back, but I've made peace with the reality we have, the reality we have because of my mistakes. I know you could never love me. It's clinically insane, I couldn't allow it, you deserve more, you do. I'm sorry I dragged you into a mess, but when you got here, the mess just made sense"

Don't.

"you made my mess, my hardships, my mistakes bearable; with one look. I, felt safe with you. I am in love with you y/n"

Fuck.

The last words that fell from his lips were met with an act that was not meant for this reality; in this moment reality could fuck itself.

My lips crashed upon his with a need indescribable, irrevocable. A need so built up, the explosion was blinding, carelessly wrapping my arms around his neck, his hand pulling every inch of me towards his own, moulding us together in this heat, this gnawing heat that I was trapped in. The warmth of his lips, his skin, his hands on my waist. Every inch of him became my reality, filling up every inch of my mind, like there was nothing but him.

What is this?

Your lips, along with his, ravished and pulled apart only enough to drag a breath in, for a moment air was just a concept forgotten, he felt like the oxygen in your lungs filling you with relief, calm, safety. You had to stop. The inexplainable was still on the tip of your tongue.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry I shouldn't, this doesn't change anything, I am still nothing—"

His palms, heavy with a comforting weight planted themselves on my cheeks... "you were nothing"

"...now you're everything to me; everything."

Our lips fluttered back; in a fleeting moment his lips reclaimed a place I didn't know was his.

Only our reality was fantasy, and with the touch of his lips pulling from mine, taehyung strides into the room, all knowing and disagreeing. With two words he crushed a reality I had started to long for.

"Jimin's missing"