Searching Light (Remus Lupin)

45: Monster

Hi everyone!

I am excited to announce that I have just completed (after 7 hours of editing) a trailer for Searching Light. It's a little long, but please watch it, as I put a lot of effort into it and I think it will help all of you visualize the story. Thanks for reading :)

-S

Winter is coming. The autumn winds are blowing hard and cold, the red and orange leaves browning, the frost solidifying as December approaches. I think I like autumn; I like the reds and oranges and yellows and browns, but the fading of summer always brings me sadness. But it's fun to play in the leaves; it reminds me of my childhood. Autumn was my father's favorite season, and I remember that because he used to take me to the park all the time and he would pick me up and throw me in big piles of leaves. At home, we would play chess by the fireside, and my mother would make us all tea, which would never get cold.

"Hey Amber!"

Sirius' voice startles me from behind, and as I turn around, a pile of leaves is immediately thrown in my face. The dirt sticks to my cheeks, and he laughs at me, pointing at my scrunched face. I roll my eyes at him, wiping the dirt away, then knock him on his feet with wind. James starts laughing too, and Sirius picks himself up from the grass, a wide grin on his face. I giggle, and try not to feel the eyes of the Hufflepuffs on me. Herbology just ended and we're all heading up to the castle from the greenhouses, but everyone in front of us is going really slow so I doubt we'll get to Defense Against the Dark Arts on time, our last class of the day.

Despite my attempt to ignore it, I can sense Bonnie's murderous eyes on me. I try not to turn and look at her, but honestly I can't help it; she looks just as angry as she always does, and a pang of guilt hits me in the stomach.

I think Remus senses it; I turn back around and he gently touches my arm reassuringly, a soft smile on his face. I feel something relax inside of me, and he leans towards me and gently presses his lips to mine, stopping me in my tracks.

Before I can begin to feel guilty for kissing Remus in front of Bonnie, his lips are suddenly ripped away from mine. I open my eyes, and see him on the ground, my heart racing. He looks surprised mostly, but his face twists in pain as he grabs his ankle. His legs don't actually appear to be working, as he can't move them well; I think he broke his ankle.

"Remus!" I cry, leaning over him. He moans a little in pain, my fingers clutching the grass beside him. I look to my right and see Bonnie, that same murderous look, her wand raised. 

"Oi!" I shout, feeling my heartbeat quicken. "What the hell, Bonnie?"

"Oh I'm sorry, that jinx was meant for you," she sneers. "Do you want a pair of matching Jelly Legs?"

"What the hell is your problem?" I blurt out, my hands feeling hot. I can hear Sirius and James saying my name behind me, trying to get me to back down, but I just feel so angry. Bonnie could do whatever she wanted to me, but to Remus? Absolutely not.

"My problem is that you're a backstabbing slut!" Bonnie screams back, her wand still raised. I bite my lip, my face feeling hot, and out of the corner of my eye I can see the fire erupting from my hands. 

Bonnie starts to mutter a spell, and before shock can hit me, I grab my wand and block it. She tries again, but I block it again, feeling powerful and strong and so angry. Furious tears sting my eyes as I hurl jinxes at her, my mouth barely moving to form the spells.

I don't really know how it happens; I think I black out. All I know is my mind goes blank and everything happens so quickly and all I feel is so angry. I can feel the fire pumping out of me, my furious tears falling, the yelling of my name by my friends. The next thing I know, I hear this loud scream, and a collapse of body. 

I try to steady my breathing, and before I know it my vision returns to me. My hands are full of fire, and I look forward and see Bonnie. The fire shrinks as guilt washes through me.

She's alive, but not by much. Her robes are burned and scathed, though that's nothing compared to her neck, which is severely burned. Her friends crowd around her and I can see Professor Sprout running up the hill to investigate. 

My breath catches, and I stare at Bonnie, the horrified look on her face. Her friends manage to pull her up, and someone yells something about the hospital wing. Bonnie's eyes remain furious, and she looks at me with a mixture of shock, horror, and disgust.

"You filthy half-breed!" She spits, her voice strained from the burns. Tears fall down my face. 

"Bonnie, I'm sorry," I cry, feeling guilt sink into me. I feel a hand on my shoulder, and I think it's James. Bonnie's friends match her look of shock, horror, and disgust, their eyes moving from Bonnie to me.

"What on earth is going on?" screamed Professor Sprout, hurrying over to Bonnie's clump of friends. She pulls around and sees Bonnie, and flings her hand to her mouth. "Good Merlin."

"Professor, I'm sorry," I sob, trying not to cry in front of all of these people, but my hands start to feel hot again, and frustration runs through me. Just calm down!

Sprout shoots me a look so angry I back away, before turning back to the clump of Hufflepuff girls. "Take her to the hospital wing. She'll be okay."

Sprout turns back to me, her fists clenched. "As for you," she hisses, "McGonagall will decide what to do with you, as she is head of your house. Go to her office, now. I will fetch her."

I nod silently, wiping my face. Every moment I feel my hands cool, they start to heat up again. I turn around, mortified, walking silently through the crowd of students, who all have their eyes on me. They part to make a path for me to walk through, and I keep my head low.

I part ways with Sprout in the Entrance Hall, who turns left to find Professor McGonagall in her Transfiguration classroom. I turn right towards her office, walking up the stairs guiltily. I can't believe I let this happen... I almost killed her...

"You filthy half-breed!" Her strained voice echoes in my head, over and over again. I can't believe she said that to me, but I know that I deserve it. 

I push open the office door, and McGonagall is already there, probably traveling through the fire. The look on her face is very stern and very serious, and I silently sit down in the chair in front of her desk.

"What happened?" She asks sharply. Tears dot my eyes again, and I take a deep breath before telling her everything that happened outside. She listens carefully as I walk her through it, despite my short breaks between sentences to sniffle.

"I feel so guilty. I didn't mean to hurt her, I just got so angry and I couldn't control myself. She attacked Remus..." I trail off, rubbing my hands anxiously. McGonagall thoughtfully listens, and opens her mouth to speak. 

"A week of detention for this, Miss Diamante. Anything less and Pomona Sprout will have my head. I'll speak to her tonight about Miss Campbell's punishment as well, as her actions are just as atrocious as your own, given that she attacked first," she says sharply, writing something on some parchment. I feel myself exhale. "You may go."

I bite my lip, and without another word, stand and exit her office quickly. I try not to think as I practically run to Gryffindor tower, tears threatening to fall. My hands start to feel hot again, and my vision blurs. I feel a stroke a gratitude that Holly isn't here to see me like this... as a monster.