The Dark (DEVON) // ✔️ // [NEWADULT]

|| Chapter Fourty-Two - Goodbye?||

   When I woke up, I was dripping with sweat from head to toe, shivering.
   It was still dark outside and Devon was turned away from me, asleep on his side. As slowly as I could, I crept up from the bed and left the room.
   My bare feet slapped against the wooden floors and echoed through the hallways. They were still as confusing now as they were when I first got here.

   I chewed on my bottom lip as I walked through the windowed corridor, I couldn't see the forest for the dark - but I knew all too well it was there and any number of threats could be hiding out in it.

   My eyes became wet when my thoughts turned to my mom.
   She was never there for me, even more so after the passing of my father but she was still all I had... understanding my parents' background now, I can see that she hid the past from me so it couldn't hurt me - but she was wrong, the past still hurt me. And continues to hurt me.

I sat down in the centre of the corridor and stared numbly into the darkness, bringing my knees up to my chest and folding my arms around them. All I was clad in was one of Devon's old, moth-bitten shirts, the cold seeped through the metal floor and chilled my entire body.
My teeth chattered, my body shook.

I flinched away from the blanket that was suddenly draped along my shoulders, but stopped like a rabbit in the headlights when I saw Parker - pulling an awkward looking face - grasping the comforter in his hands that were outstretched towards me.

Slowly, I eased back into my sitting position and accepted the comforter.
Parker sat down beside me, still keeping a considerable amount of distance between us.

For a while, it was just us and the nights silence, until Parker spoke up.

"I'm really sorry, Aria." His voice sounded wafer thin, defeated.

He sighed and stretched his legs out in front of him, looking unflinchingly into the dark abyss outside the glass.

Surprisingly, I told him, "It's okay. I forgive you. I know you didn't have a choice."

"No we always have a-" he started.

I raised a hand, "Parker. I choose to believe you felt you had no other choice. I need to believe that." My voice cracked.
He gingerly wrapped an arm around my shoulders, I didn't flinch away, I relaxed my body to signal to him that it was okay.
Parker hugged me gently.

"Thank you." He breathed, "I just wish... I just wish she hadn't have chosen me." He whimpered, "if-if she hadn't, I'd have liked to believe you'd have given me a chance, yano? At being... whatever Devon is to you now." That made me shift.

Only slightly, did I pull away, but Parker noticed and removed his arm, "I'm not going to hide my feelings from you Aria, I'm sorry if it's too much but I did what I did to save your mother, you'd never forgive me if I didn-" I got to my feet.

"STOP!" I was shaking, my eyes watering once more, "Please, I don't want an explanation I've forgiven you please can we leave it at that because I can't-" then the sobbing started, I tried to muffle it with my hands but the door to Devon's room had flung open and he was striding down the hall, eyes locked on me.

Parker got to his feet and turned to face Devon, "Dev, I-" my ears started ringing when Devon threw a hard punch at Parker's cheek. The sound was sickening, a small slap and a loud crunch. Parker groaned, cradling his (I assume) now-broken cheekbone.
My words left me, all that came out was an awful rattling shriek.
Parker turned to look at me, his face already slack and bruised, "I'm sorry." He croaked, before walking in the direction of the hospital wing, muttering profanities to himself.

Devon grabbed my hands and looked me in the eyes, "What did he do?" His voice was hard, "What did he say to you, Aria?" My lips began quivering again.
God I felt pathetic.

Truthfully. He didn't say anything at all, it wasn't him, it's all me, it's this life, it's my mother, it's Devon, it's Isaac, it's the death, the uncertainty...

"Nothing." I whispered.
Devon looked at me with uncertain eyes, so I hardened my own, put on a small smile and stepped closer to him, "How about we go back to Uhm..." I made quotation marks with my fingers, "-bed."
It took a while for his expression to shift, he still didn't look entirely convinced when we reached his room, or after we'd had sex.
But it's good enough.

The next morning, I woke up, still shaken.
I had to do this.
If not for me, for my mother.
If I just distanced myself from this shit, maybe Victoria would give up - if she knew I didn't have anything to do with Isaac or Devon, maybe she'd let my mother go and leave us in peace.

Because nobody seems to be doing anything about my mother right now.
Always me, always Aria.
More attention than I've ever received in my entire life, and I hate it.

I got up and got dressed, swilled my face with cold water and dragged a brush through my hair.
My things weren't important, I wasn't going back to the old me.
I was starting anew, I told myself.

Not going back home, not back to school...
Nothing.

I swallowed my nerves and walked into the bedroom, Devon stirred awake and smiled lazily at me, "Why are you all dressed up it's-" he checked the alarm clock, "-it's 7:30."

"I'm going to take a drive into town with Reuben. I need new clothes... mine are all a little Uhm..." I motioned to the t shirt with a gaping hole in it - a hole i had cut earlier, to drive my point home, "torn up?" I did my best to laugh convincingly.
Devon smirked and reached into the drawer by his bed, "Here- treat yourself." He handed over a wad of rolled up money.

"No. I have money, I'm fine." I insisted, refusing his hand full of cash.
Devon frowned, "Take it, Aria, please."

He wasn't going to give up.

With a groan - that was all too real - I took the cash and stuffed it into my bag.
I walked over to the bed slowly and bent down to kiss him - I kissed him long and tenderly... it may well be the last time.

I tried to avoid everyone else on my way out as me and Devon said our goodbyes.
I'd told Reuben about my plan, he had offered - for nothing in return - to help me out. Knowing entirely well this could cost him... everything, when Devon finds out.
And he will find out eventually.

When I don't come back.

I got in the car and nodded to Rueben once and we drove away.
I didn't allow myself to look back at the house, refused to.

My phone pinged once and I looked down at a text from Devon; I'll meet you in an hour, we can get lunch.

Everything in me ached as I read the message, my heart doing double time as my eyes scanned the text.
It wracked me with guilt to do it, but I simply replied; Sounds good.

I hoped, that somewhere deep down inside him, Devon could forgive me.

Devon can forgive what he would undoubtably see as betrayal.

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I'm gonna upset a few people with this I know.. I know :(

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