Arms Length

Chapter 7: Airplanes

**Billie**

It's 4:47AM, I've been awake for an hour fucking night terrors and sleep paralysis. I sigh and pull a pillow closer to my body and close my eyes trying to will sleep to come back to me. I sigh again and grab my phone; I don't know if Jade is even awake currently or if she'll even pick up if I call her...again. I rub my face roughly and let my thumb hover over her contact information. I press the call button and immediately regret my decision.

It immediately goes to voicemail, I sigh in relief, "Hi, it's Jade, sorry I missed your call, but leave me a message." I sigh hearing her voicemail for the 5th time. Yeah, I've called her 5 times, I'm not even sure what time it is where she is.

"H-Hey, it's me..." I sigh. "I know you said you're not pissed and it's a bad time- "I hear my other line and look at my phone. It's her, I immediately accept the call. "Hey..."

"Sorry." I can hear shuffling and then the sound of palm trees in the background. "I just got all....4 of your messages?" She sounds a bit annoyed.

"Oh ha. You can delete them." I say sheepishly. "Is everything ok? You sound like you're outside..."

"I'm fine...look Billie this is a really bad time for me. Can we talk when I get back to L.A.?"

Wait, what? "Uh... yeah, I guess? ...Wait, you're not in L.A.?"

She sniffs, I can hear her swallow the lump in her throat. "No...I'll call you later, okay?" She doesn't wait for me to reply. I hear the 3 beeps and she's gone.

"Fuck!" I whisper to myself and toss my phone into the fluffy hotel pillow and run my hand aggressively through my hair.

"And then what?" I hum lowly into the phone.

"Oh, the things I could and want to do to you, Eilish." Sophie says, but really? I'm imagining it's Jade on the other end of the line as I bite my lower lip.

"Guess we'll both have to find out when I get home huh?" Normally this is the point where I'd start focusing on what is being said, but I've tuned Sophie out; I can watch porn later. My mind wanders to Jade and what she's doing, is she ok? Is she really mad at me? Should I just stop being an asshole and tell Sophie I'm using her for experience? God, I fucked up.

"...Billie? Bil?" I hear Sophie snap me out of my inner monologue, she sounds out of breath.

"Sorry, love. I'm here." I sigh, but I'm not really, I should ask Finneas what he would do in this situation... On second thought, coming to my brother with the idea of 'hey which intern would you rather fuck?' seems inappropriate? That's the word, right?

Sophie sighs, obviously aware that her little session was one-sided, "I'll let you go, you seem... distracted. Call me when you get home."

"I will." I hang up and rub my face with the palm of my hand. Maybe I should text Jade? Maybe you should leave her alone and give her space, you just tuned out a girl having phone sex to your voice because you were too busy being in your own fucking head. I sigh and pull my hair up into a ponytail.

My thumbs still hover over the open text message, the conversation still chewing at me, I chew at the outer cuticle on my thumb pretending to listen to the conversation between Finneas and our mixing producer, Rob.

Jade Holland: I owe you an apology, it's cliché to say this, but Christmas is a shitty time of year for me and my sister. I know that's no excuse for being so short with you, but it's all I have right now.