Arms Length

Chapter 25: quiet when i'm coming home

**A/N: I may or may not have listened to "Run" by Snow Patrol on repeat while writing this Chapter, also, PLEASE DO NOT comment saying "I knew it!!" I will delete those comments... and please be gentle with Jade**

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**Jade**

"There's been an accident."

I don't remember the officer's name, or his badge number, or the case number he's given me. I just know my world has come to halt and crashed around me. My heart feels like it's been ripped out of my chest all over again and every bit of air has been sucked out of the room. I want to pinch myself or scream at the top of my lungs, this feels like a nightmare and any moment I'll wake up with Billie curled up next to me ease any fear I have; but Billie isn't here my hands are still shaking and I have to sit down before I collapse.

"Jade... it's Billie, are you okay? Please tell me you're okay...? Call me... I love you..."

"Honey, it's Aunt Sherri... Uncle Frank and me will pick you up from the airport tonight. Call me when you land."

"Hey Bunny, it's Grey, your Aunt called me, I'll fly out first thing tomorrow morning, ok? If you need anything before then let me know."

"This message is for Jade Holland; my name is Robert Dela Cruz with the Nueces County Sheriff's Department..." Delete.

5 hours and 19 minutes never felt so long, everything is going in slow-motion but the world around me keeps moving at a seamless pace, like everything is fine. I grab my backpack from the overhead bin and slide it onto my shoulders, it feels like it weighs a ton as I follow the 20 people off the plane. I've been good to keep the tears from streaming down my face; if I cry, I may never stop and who is going to keep me from falling apart? I pull out my phone from my pocket and find my Aunt Sherri's contact info.

She answers after half a ring, "Hi honey, are you here?"

"I'm walking to baggage claim now..." I don't even sound like myself.

"Okay we're inside waiting for you."

"Ok." I can't even muster the energy to tell her I love her. I just end the call and shove my phone in my pocket. I spot my Aunt Sherri, already holding my tote bag with my suitcase next to her and my Uncle Frank dutifully standing next to her with his hand on her back as he gently waves to me.

I take a deep breath and tell my brain to carry my heavy legs to my Aunt and Uncle, as soon as I reach my Uncle I feel my legs come off the floor as he embraces me and the tears I've been holding in for 12 hours fall freely onto his shoulder and I no longer care about what kind of scene I'm causing; I can feel my Aunt put her hand protectively on my back like she's trying to protect me from the world.

"Where's Chase?" That familiar ache in my chest starts to radiate up into my throat again at the thought of losing the only remnant I have of my sister.

"He's with Rebecca right now." Aunt Sherri says sliding into the passenger seat while Uncle Frank loads my suitcase into the back of the rental with ease, walks around to the driver's seat and starts the car.

I nod and look out the window wondering when I'll wake up from this god-awful nightmare.

I look over at the clock, 3:40am. The last time I was here Billie was with me, her face nuzzled into the back of my neck and soft snores escaped her lips while her arm wrapped around my waist tightly. And now? Silence. Suffocating, deafening silence. I push myself off the bed, grab my phone and walk out of the guest room. I walk quietly down to Chase's nursery to check on him, he's sound asleep on his stomach with his butt in the air, blissfully unaware of what is going on. I envy that, I shut the door quietly and walk into the kitchen.

I chew on my lower lip and look at Billie's contact info, part of me hopes she's still getting settled into the SUV that will take her from the airport to the hotel, part of me hopes she picks up because hearing her voice even through the phone might somehow ease my anxious mind.

I press her contact info and chew on my bottom lip as it rings on her end. Finally, after 3 rings she picks up, "Baby...?" her voice is laced with concern, as if she's unsure it's me calling her.

"It's me..."

I hear her immediately sigh with relief, "Laura said there was an accident and you weren't answering your phone.... Are you ok? Where are you?" All of her questions go in one ear and out the other and the only one I can focus on is "are you ok?" I grip the island to keep myself in a standing position. "Jade... are you ok?"

"My sister..." I can't bring myself to finish and the lump in my throat rips through my chest as I slide down the wall and the tears flow freely like a torrential downpour. The realization that my sister is gone hits me with all the force of a train and the silence only makes that realization all the more terrifying.

"Baby..." I hear her say calmly as the no longer silent sobs rip through my chest, I hear the other guestroom door open and close and my Aunt's feet pad down the hallway quickly.

"Jade....? Honey are you okay?" My Aunt kneels in front of me.

"I.... can't.... do... this...." I mutter in between broken sobs holding my knees to my chest and the phone to my ear as if my last line of life support. Any words my Aunt or Billie are saying to me are so muffled, like my head is being held under 10 feet of water and the only sounds I can make out are faint noises and myself gasping for air.