Arms Length

Chapter 30: Stay for the Night

**Jade**

Remember in Jurassic Park, where the lawyer leaves Tim and Lex fearing their lives and he subsequently gets eaten by a T-Rex? Then, Lex understandably suffers a bit of PTSD when Dr. Grant shows up and all she can say is 'He left us! He left us!' over and over? Dr. Grant tells her 'But that's not what I'm gonna do.' And he keeps his word and protects Tim and Lex throughout the rest of the movie?

I had no one to tell me what Dr. Grant told Lex, it seems like everyone left at the same time. Aunt Sherri and Uncle Frank went home to Dallas 3 days after the funeral promising they'd return a week before Chase's first birthday, Billie and her family left the following Friday to resume her European tour with the promise to call every-day/night. Although some nights I rope her into singing Chase to sleep, or some nights she'll watch me sleep until a nightmare jolts me awake and her beautiful face is still illuminating my screen; with concern laced across her face and a pout on her lip because she's not there she'll calmly say "You're okay." Or "It was just a dream baby, I'm right here." And Grey left a week later than she was scheduled to because I "needed some support".

The days have somehow melted together to form one long day with moments of darkness between the sunshine, I wish I could say I wasn't counting down the days, no hours until I could fall asleep next to her again, but I am; sleeping next to her kept the nightmares at bay, or when I'd wake up sobbing she'd wrap her body around mine like a shield and let me cry until I couldn't anymore.

"Chase seems to be doing very well." Lydia says as she sips a cup of coffee during a not-so-surprise visit.

"He is." I say looking over at him as he crawls around the living room inside of his play-yard while he babbles on about his day.

"And how are you doing?"

I could lie and tell her I'm doing great on my own or be honest and tell her I'm barely coping. "I'm okay." I simply say.

"Hmm." She hums. "You know, Jade if you need to speak to a counselor, I can arrange for one to come to the house."

"That's really not necessary."

"Look, I understand you've been through the wringer. And being alone in this kind of circumstance can be very isolating. I'm not going make it a requirement that you seek counseling. However, I'll leave Dr. Kessler's card with you, if you'd like to speak with her you can always call her." She slides the card across the coffee table.

"Thank you."

"I have your best interest here too, Jade. I don't want to see children wind up in the system especially if they have a family member that is capable of caring for them. I know you're capable, but don't forget to take care of yourself."

"I'll consider it." I say picking up the card that feels like it weighs a million pounds in my hand.

"That's all I ask." She says as she observes Chase for a few more minutes before scribbling down a few more notes on her legal pad before standing up. "I'll be back two weeks from today. Please keep in mind about giving Dr. Kessler a call." She says as I walk her to the door.

"I will." I say closing the door behind her as she walks to her freshly washed Toyota Corolla.

"So, I'll stop in El Paso for the night, and I should be there sometime Friday night." Grey says packing some more of my clothes into a larger suitcase while we FaceTime. "Do you want this black hoodie?" She asks holding up the hoodie I've been meaning to return to Billie for 6 months now.

"Yes." I say handing half a strawberry to Chase. "I don't need my entire wardrobe Grey; I have a washer and dryer here."

"I just want you to be prepared." She says folding yet another pair of jeans and shoving them into the suitcase.