Arms Length

Chapter 23: Faster than I'm falling in Love

**Billie**

Watching Jade is one of my favorite things, next to being on stage; or well watching Jade have an orgasm is one of my favorite things to watch too. But, watching her comes in a close second, watching her is completely relaxing like working on one of those little Zen gardens. Right now Jade, my mom and Claudia are in Fin and Claudia's kitchen cutting vegetables and fruit for lunch while me, dad and Fin are sitting in the dinning room talking music and cars, of all topics; occasionally Fin will look over at Claudia with this dumb grin on his face like that heart eye emoji. I've seen my dad look at my mom like that too, Jesus do I look at Jade like that?

I can hear Claudia and Jade laugh about something and my mom scold them because it's not that funny, but at my mom's insistence their laughter continues to the point where I hear a snort, more laughter and Jade ask "Was that you?" and even more laughter. I lean back a bit to see Jade doubled over the counter, her hand over half her face, Claudia leaning on her for support and both of them laughing. It's nice to see Jade hang out with someone other than that train-wreck of human named Sophie; its also hard to believe Claudia and Sophie are even related. So, when Claudia and Fin get married will I be related to Sophie? Is that how that works? Does Jade have any insane cousins I need to know about? I've only met her sister and brother in law and they're awesome as fuck, and don't even get me started on her nephew...I love babies.

I wonder what mine and Jade's baby would look like? Does Jade even want kids? Furthermore, is that a word? Is Jade the person I want to spend my life with? I'm in love with her, but I've never thought about settling down with anyone; let alone a female and I'm not technically out yet. The media would have a fucking field day, half my fans would say "I knew it!" and try to slide into my unread Instagram DMs the other half would just not even give a shit, I don't think? I don't even know if Jade is "out", there are so many conversations we haven't had. We just had a conversation about her mom dying and that difficult enough for her to open up about. Jesus my head hurts now.

"Can I ask you something?"

"What's that?" Jade looks up from her magazine, a few loose pieces of hair hang in her slightly sunburned face.

"How and when did you know you were...?" I sigh messing with a loose thread on her sweatpants.

"Bi-sexual?" She asks finishing my question and resting her hand lovingly on my knee.

"Yeah."

"I probably knew in middle school, I guess? But didn't actually realize it until high school... maybe like junior year or so? One night after a football game a bunch of us went to Padre Balli park. And, a girl I had Biology or maybe English with, I don't remember... kissed me, like full on the mouth; and it was better than any kiss I'd had with any guy up to that point... " She shrugs nonchalantly. "When I told my mom she wasn't surprised, she just told me 'As long as you do well in life and remain a good person, I don't care who you love...' Unfortunately, I dated Taylor for 5 years. So..."

"So, would you date a guy again?"

"I mean if I met a guy, I liked....? But I'm really into this girl and I like to focus on one relationship at a time."

I try to stifle a smirk but am unsuccessful, "What was your mom like?"

She sighs deeply and cocks her head to one side, her messy ponytail falling like a waterfall over her shoulder. "She was great, she had all the tenacity of a velociraptor and loved me and Daphne fiercely. She was just wonderful... She had this perfume that smelled like tuberoses and fresh cut grass, she was also very soft-spoken... it's strange certain days I remember exactly when she looked like, other days I don't even remember the color of her eyes."