The Best Klance Fanfictions

You-You-Me

You-You-Me

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Summary:

The paladins introduce Allura to the age-old Earthling game of truth or dare. Keith shares unwelcome knowledge about his sex habits. Hunk may or may not eat a sock. Somehow, sexual tension and relief ensues. Also, there are jokes.

Notes:

(smut warning)

Work Text:

Unsurprisingly, it's Lance's idea, an obtuse and not even remotely clever attempt to get Allura to lay one on him. More surprisingly, Allura falls for it.

"This is an Earth...game?" she asks, kneeling down and joining the circle.

Their track record with 'Earth games' was not good. Monopoly had led to Hunk desperately clinging to the red and orange spaces, Pidge's dominance of the entire purple and blue end of the board, and bargaining between him and Allura for access to information and technology aboard the ship in exchange for immunity when she landed on his spaces. At one point, Pidge rained a shower of five-hundred dollars bills of fake money over himself and Keith had to grab Lance in a chokehold to keep him from attacking Pidge. Shiro, somehow, ended up in jail almost the entirety of the game with a horrified look on his face.

The next offender, the Altean version of Risk, resulted in Allura's control of at least three Altean continents against Pidge's strongholds across the board. Lance and Keith spent almost the entire game battling between each other on a single continent with missions to destroy each other. Hunk, having learned his lesson with Monopoly, made snacks for the paladins and Allura. Shiro was wiped from the board in the first hour of the game.

("Am I a bad leader?" Shiro had asked Hunk despairingly, looking up at him with puppy-dog eyes Hunk had never been aware he possessed. "I'm a bad leader, aren't I? I got wiped from the board by not only Allura, who would be expected, but Pidge as well and he's like, fourteen."

"There, there," Hunk had said. "At least that's better than, er, jail?"

Shiro groaned.)

"Yeah, a game for pre-teen girls with a crush on a cute boy," Keith says, rolling his eyes. "One guess who the swooning idiot is and the unattainable beauty is."

Allura taps her chin. "Well, Shiro is the most aesthetically pleasing of the paladins by my estimate, so...he's the 'cute boy'?"

Pidge throws himself to the ground by Allura's side, laughing. "No one's gonna fight you on that one, Princess, but uh...let's just stick to the obvious. Lance is an idiot, and you're a beauty."

("Like I want to hear that from a pint-sized brain on a stick!" Lance yowls from across the room. Pidge, wisely, ignores him.)

"There aren't really any rules to 'truth or dare,'" Hunk says, "but we're here to ensure that Lance doesn't pull any funny stuff on you...and, okay, whatever, we want dirt on each other."

Allura glances around her as the paladins settle into a circle on the floor. Shiro for manhandling Lance if things got serious, Keith for scathing remarks and distractions, Pidge to poke holes in Lance's ego, and Hunk for comic relief if things got serious. The Protect-Allura-Against-Lance's-Libido Squad were all assembled.

("Not that we really have to worry about Allura's virtue," Shiro mutters to Pidge. "I saw her kick an entire Galra door in."

"She is ten thousand years old," Pidge agrees, nodding sagely. "Plus, there's the wrath of Coran if anyone lays a hand on the Princess."