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BIGHIT ENTERTAINMENT | 2017
"i think we should change it, instead of the arms going backwards it goes forward." jaehyun suggests, making me nod in agreement. it's only 11am and i'm already sweating, we take a small break and i talk to the other trainees about random things. we hear a knock on the door and we all focus our attention to the door. "hello." one of the staff here pops her head out. we all stand and bow at her. "Bang PD would like to see chanmi-ssi." she say making everybody, 'ooo' and 'ahhh'.
"someones in trouble!" doyoon chants making everybody laugh. i slap the back of his head before going up to the top floor. i hummed a random tune until i finally arrived. i knocked on the door before hearing a "come in." i walk-in slightly nervous but i brushed it off, i bow to him before he gestures for me to take a seat. "now what i'm going to say might come as a surprise but i just want you to hear me out before you start having thoughts about it okay?"
i nodded confused on what was happening. i thought he was just gonna tell me to stop eating all the snacks in the cafeteria or that the women's bathroom is out of order but not this serious! my anxiety starts to go up a bit but he continues talking. "chanmi you are one of my oldest trainees here, you've been here since we were on the brink of bankruptcy but you stuck with us. and that's something i admire about you."
you smiled at him even when all of the female trainees left he still let me train here. even though that meant training at a basically all boys company he let me stay. "but i want to say that i am not planning on debuting a girl group anytime soon. and i know you had your heart set on a group and not a soloist."
"however i am planning to debut a boy group in the future but i don't think that is fair to you if i don't debut you before them." i gulped knowing where this is going. "now remember this is a YOUR choice okay? i heard that JYP is going to be debuting a girl group soon. i sent him a video of you dancing and rapping and he was beyond impressed."
"he is willing to give you a position as a trainee there without audition and you will have a way better chance at debuting there. remember you don't have to do it but this is a very good opportunity but i promise you chanmi, one day you'll debut whether it's under my company or not you have so much talent that the world would be a worse place without it. so please never give up." i smile bitterly at him before he continues. "jimin is training in room 8 so you can go discuss this with him since he is one of your guardians." he smiles before i walk out to room 8.
this by far is one of the hardest decisions i have ever had to make. should i follow my dreams and take a risk or should i stay in my safe space but have to train for possibly 5 more years. i need jimins help and now. i approach the room with faded laughter inside of it, i open the door to see everyone on their lunch break. "chanmi!!" they all say with smiles on their face that quickly drop once they see my bloodshot red eyes. "chanmi shouldn't you be training- oh my god what happened!" jimin exclaims. "jimin can you come outside for a second.." and i take him by the sleeve and pull him outside. "what's wrong chanchan?" he rubs my back.
i explain to him my entire dilemma and he just looks shocked the entire time, "JYP... that's a big company,," i nod while still, half crying. "let's go back and discuss this." we open the door to just see 5 doofuses all fall over beside the door and a disappointed namjoon just looking at them. "i tried to tell them!" namjoon groans making me laugh a bit. "but we heard your conversation guys.." jin says. "and we all think that this is a big opportunity that you shouldn't waste but again this is your decision." yoongi says, knocking some sense into me.
"i agree chan, sometimes you gotta take risks and even if JYP doesn't work out i'm sure bang pd will let you back in." jimin agrees. "i guess i have an answer now.." "noooo i don't want chanmi to go!!" taehyung shouts before grabbing onto my arm. "yah! get off her!" jimin pushes him away.
"pd-nim, i have an answer. i will take-up the opportunity," i say semi-confidently. "i'm glad you chose that chanmi-ssi. i have no doubt you'll do amazing and i'm sorry i couldn't provide you what you deserve here. and remember that we will always be cheering you on in BIGHIT."
7 DAYS LATER
my last day here. the past week i've been practising hard while also spending time with the staff and my friends here. let's just say my trainee friends didn't take it well when i told them i was leaving. lots of tears. i walk into the practice room that was unusually dark until the lights r went off. "GOODBYE CHANMI!" everyone shouted. a lot of the trainees, composers and even staff filled the practice room. tears started to brim my eyes until it turned into full waterfalls. everyone came to hug me one by one congratulating me. "adora unni!" i ran up to one of the talented producers here. "chanmi-ah why are you leaving me?!" she made a TT face. "sorry!" we talked until the tv suddenly went on.
"hi, chanmi and her friends! we are bangtan! you have been here and supported us for so long so we will make sure to do the same to you when you debut! we love you bye!" i pouted at the short yet cute message. bangtan couldn't make it due to schedules but i was grateful for their message. best last day ever.
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