cigarette | 2jin

four.

Hyunjin's POV

I opened the liquor cabinet and took out a bottle of soju. I chugged the bottle until my throat burned. "What's wrong with me?" I mumbled to myself as I forced the bottle back into my mouth. "Why am I blushing?" I looked at my reflection "Wow, Kim Hyunjin you've completely lost it," I grabbed another bottle and began to chug it. "There's no way I'd like her, I'm not gay."
"Kim Hyunjin-ssi, you shouldn't be drinking," A voice said. I looked over to see Kim Jongdae (Chen), the sort of right hand man of the gang. "Not to offend you, but you don't want to end up as a alcoholic like you father," he said while disposing black gloves "Not to even mention that you smoke."
He snatched the bottle out of my hand and threw it into the trash.
"What the-? What's your problem?" I said as he smiled in response.
"All traces of the murder are gone, and the dining room is completely spotless, have a good rest of your night Hyunjin-ssi," he said, making his way to the door. "Oh, and good luck with her," he said with a smirk and closed the door.
I scoffed. "It's just the liquor," I said trying to dismiss it.

I fell on my bed. "Hyeju, am I crazy?" I asked. She whipped her head around.
"We've been over this, you're not crazy" she said while patting my back. "You're more than just crazy, you're borderline mental," she said and slapped my back while laughing. I threw a pillow at her.
"You know, you're really hard to deal with," I said while brushing my clothes off.
"You're right, I am," she responded "Well Hyunjin, I'm going to Chaewon's for the rest of the night," she said while gathering her stuff.
"Chaewon? Park Chaewon? The lesbian?" I asked in confusion.
"Yes, Park Chaewon that lesbian, is there a problem?" She said grabbing my collar
"No, I didn't know you were one of them," I said ripping her hands off.
"You know sometimes you can come off as really homophobic," she said giving me the look and leaving.
"Am not," I mumbled just as I received a text.

[son.hye.ju]                                 
yes tf u are                                                       seen 11:48
[hyunjin.kim]
K den. sent 11:49

I left my bathroom and went to my bed. The time read 12:56. "I should sleep," I thought as I turned my lights off. Minutes past and I couldn't sleep, not one bit. I sat up and opened Instagram. I went on my finsta "breadjinnie"

*DING*
@spamjin has requested to follow you!
Accept Decline
"What the," I mumbled

Requested to follow @spamjin!
*DING*

@spamjin has accepted your follow request!

I looked through her feed. It was Heejin's spam account. Most of the post consisted of food and rants.

spamjin

spamjin Kjsjxjsdka tHe mEmOriEsssss i loVe u ❤️😚 @ji.wowo

The post caught my eye. I scoffed without thinking. A tight feeling filled my stomach. The feeling was unfamiliar. It felt like something I've never felt before. I took out a cigarette and walked to the balcony, where I lit it. I stood there looking up at the barely visible stars. "What the fucks wrong with me?" I asked. I pondered the thought for a while, then looking up at the night sky again. "Mom, if you were here, y-you'd help me right?" I said trying to choke back a tear. If she was here I'd be alright right now. But of course she's not.

*Flashback*

"H-Hyunjin, please go to your room," my mom spoke. "Go to your room and close the door, and d-don't come out u-until your told too,"
"What are you doing with dads gun?" The 12 year old me asked "Your not suppose to play with guns, you could hurt yourself." She smiled and kneeled down to my level.
"Hyunjin, I love you remember that ok? I'll never leave your side ok" She said with a sad smile and tears streaming down her face. "P-please go to your room, a-and don't come outside," she said once again pushing me away. I went back to my room and sat on my bed thinking about why I was here. Did I do something wrong? I couldn't bare not knowing. I went back outside and just as I was about to ask...
*BANG*
The room was filled with a high pitched sort of squeak. Mom fell to the ground, blood pooling around her. I slowly walked over and shook her body. "Mom? Mom? Mommy? Mom? M-mom? M-m-mom? Wake up please? Did I do something wrong? P-please wake up. I won't do whatever I did again. M-mom?" I said with tears in my eyes.
"Hyunjin?" My mom whispered "I thought I told you to stay in your room?" She caressed my cheek. "Why couldn't you b-be n-normal Hyunjinie?" She said as more blood started to come out her mouth. "What do you mean? What did I do? I-I-I'll be normal for you mom, just wake up please?" I tried to say throw my cries. "Mom?" I asked while shaking her body. No response. Her body went cold.

*End of Flashback*

I shuttered at the thought. It was my fault she was gone. It was my fault that I was alone. All because I'm not normal. To this day I have no idea what she meant by normal. I just knew it was my fault that she killed herself.

I went back inside and layed on my bed. The time was 2:27AM. I tried closing my eyes and sleeping. Just as I was about to fall asleep I got a message. "What the fuck? It's 2 in the damn morning?" I said

[spamjin]
I like ur username it's cute :))

My heart began to beat a little faster. I hesitated on answering, but I decided to answer since she didn't know me.

[breadjinnie]
k.
[spamjin]
I'm heejin :)
-seen-
[spamjin]
And u are?
-seen-
[spamjin]
Come onnnnn tell me ur nameee

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[spamjin] click here to undo

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Lakxkedkwkxkwkx thIs chAptEr bAreLy hAs a pUrpoSe.

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