cigarette | 2jin

thirty four.

Third Person POV

✨ The Next Morning ✨

The sun had not come up yet. Hyunjin laid awake in bed, anxious. She didn't know how much longer she could endure this. She needed to get a away, just for a bit.

Hyunjin looked down at her torso to see Heejin clinging onto it. She tried to unravel herself, making sure not to wake her.

"Where are you going?" Heejin asked with her eyes still closed.

"I, um. I have something to do," Hyunjin responded.

"...Ok. Don't do anything stupid," Heejin said as she rolled to the other side of the bed.

Hyunjin put on a white button up, black dress pants, and black shoes. Before leaving, she fixed her hair making sure it was to absolute perfection.

The streets were cold. She walked for a while, only stopping once she made it to a gate. It was the entrance to the cemetery.

Her heartbeat increased by the second as she walked up the hill. She was surrounded by all the gravestones, but she only stared at one. Slowly, Hyunjin walked toward it, her hands started shaking.

Hyunjin stood in-front of it, and bowed. Her eyes welded up with tears.

"I-I'm sorry I couldn't visit you earlier, mom," Hyunjin said, still standing. "I hope you're not still mad at me."

She sat down on the wet grass directly in-front of the grave. She wiped off the top, trying to get the mud and dirt off.

"I would've brought you flowers or something, but I was in a rush," Hyunjin said "It's fine right? You don't like flowers anyways."

The smallest laugh came out of Hyunjin, it was a sad laugh.

"I'll cut the bullshit. I really need someone to talk to. And your the only one that would listen to me, at least you use to," Hyunjin said, as she brought her knees to her chest. "I don't even know where to start, it's a long story, I don't expect you to listen."

"I will."

"I guess it starts the beginning of the year. It's this girl, I-I know you're against it, b-but just hear me out," Hyunjin said "Alright, so...."

There Hyunjin was, sitting with her moms grave, sharing all her worries, fears, and simply being honest. It was therapeutic, finally coming to terms with herself. Accepting and acknowledging it.

More & More time passed, the sun had finally come up. Hyunjin still sat there, telling the story in deep detail. She got everything off her chest, knowing her mom wouldn't be accepting if she was still here.

"A-and here we are now. I don't know what to do, I'm stuck," Hyunjin said as she concluded the story "You don't care that I'm talking about a girl, right? You're not like dad, you'd still love me and be there for me, right?"

The wind blew, making the leaves start swaying back and forth. She took that as a yes from her mom, even though it was probably just a coincidence.

A smile crept up Hyunjin's lips.
"I miss you, I really miss you. I miss you more than I miss anyone," Hyunjin mumbled. Finally, the welded tears started violently falling. All this time, she was mad at the fact her mom left so suddenly, without giving an explanation. She was mad at the fact her dad never told her why, and shunned her away. But at that moment, she didn't care anymore. She was a child again, a little girl that missed her mom.

Hyunjin put her head down to her knees and cried. It was a silent cry. No noise, just tears.

"Look who's finally crying," A voice said from behind her.