The Uneventful Life of Harvey Mackler

c h a p t e r | n i n e

     IT'S THAT TIME of the week where I whine to Gia about how much I miss her.

"But seriously, Gi," I say over the phone, "when do you come back? It feels like you've been gone for about eight years."

"That's about how long I've known you, Harvey," Gia deadpans.

"Well," I reply. "Still."

"And it hasn't been that long," she argues. "What day is it — the 14th? 15th? I've been gone less than a month."

"A month is still far too long," I grumble.

"I'll be back by the end of July, promise," Gia assures me.

"You better," I say seriously. "So how is Italy going? It's about evening time, isn't it? How was your day?"

Gia chuckles. "Look at you, being proactive and memorising time zones."

"Well, it's been about three weeks of you sounding delirious every time I call you at 2 AM, so I thought I'd have to get round to it one day."

"That's fair," Gia laughs. "Anyway, Italy is fine. It was my cousin's wedding yesterday, remember? I'm still so exhausted."

"Oh yeah, you mentioned that. How was the wedding? Was it fun?"

"Fun is one word to call it. Stressful is more accurate. All I remember now is nearly getting hugged to death by a ton of strangers who claimed to have known me since birth. You know, the usual. Then this random couple gatecrashed the reception, thinking it was a public event."

"No way," I laugh, "really?"

"I think they were tourists. They didn't understand a word of Italian either. But besides that, everything was good. The food was nice."

"Good food is always a plus," I say.

"So what about you? How's everything going back home?"

I stretch my body, getting up from my bed and walking towards the window. "Oh you know, same old," I reply as I draw back my curtain, letting natural light stream into my room. I pause. "No wait! I actually remember something I did. Remember that book that you got me obsessed with last year?"

"The one with the cliffhanger ending? Chronicles something?"

"Mmhmm," I reply excitedly. "We couldn't find any of the other books in the series and I couldn't sleep well for like a week after. But guess what?"

"You found them?" Gia asks, a hint of excitement seeping into her tone.

"I found them! I went to the White yesterday to pick them up. All five books! And it was on discount too — only twenty dollars. For hardbacks!"

"Whoa, really?" Gia replies, genuinely shocked. "That's actually awesome. But let me guess, you read all of them last night, didn't you."

I lean against the window frame, rolling my eyes even though I know Gia can't see me. "Not all of them," I admit as I glance out the window. "I got home later than expected yesterday evening, so I'm only halfway through the first book."

Outside my window, I spot a blond blob bobbing up and down in the ocean. I narrow my eyes when moments later, they are spat out by the sea, swept on shore. Seconds later, a surfboard follows, cuffed to his ankle by a leash. I frown.

"You're kidding, right?" Gia responds. "I've read the first book too. Isn't it like 400 pages long?"

I click my tongue in disappointment. "Tsk tsk tsk. Best friends since third grade and yet you still underestimate me."