The Uneventful Life of Harvey Mackler

c h a p t e r | s i x t e e n

GIA BEGINS MY 'deguy-ifying' that same day.

After kidnapping me from my home, she keeps me hostage in the confines of her bedroom, shackling me to her bed with the aid of a hydrating sheet mask that she lightly pats into my face, gagging me and muffling my cries of help with a Ringo.

"Mmm...!" I say against my will, crunching on the soft cookie, pleasantly surprised by the creamy chocolate icing that melts onto my tongue.

"Better than an Oreo, right?" Gia comments as she takes a break from her ministrations to stuff one of the cookies she brought from Italy into her mouth.

I hear her shuffle around on her carpeted floor. Seconds later, I catch a whiff of a strong chemical scent and I realise she's opened a bottle of nail varnish.

"Is all this really necessary?" I ask when I feel a cold, tingly sensation in my toes. I lift off the face mask slightly and raise my head up to peek at Gia who has now proceeded to painting my nails.

"Don't touch the mask, it's supposed to stay on for another 15 minutes to be effective," she cautions, shooting me a warning look before she goes back to her nail art. "And yes, extremely."

I roll my eyes, but I do as she says, letting go of the mask and drumming my fingers on my stomach to a tune I make up in my head.

"As sweet as it is to see you getting along with your brothers, I can't let you become a tomboy," she continues in a serious tone.

I raise a sceptic eyebrow at that. She says 'tomboy' as if it's a bad thing.

"If I recall correctly, you were the biggest tomboy throughout the entire of middle school," I remind her, thinking back to those days with a slight chuckle.

"That's exactly why I'm saying this now. There has to be a balance to everything," Gia responds. "I need to be able to go shopping with you and have you give me an honest opinion on clothes without you whining about how demeaning the entire process is, or wanting to go to some guy store instead, or watch sports." Gia shudders.

"Are you sure you've had enough rest? Maybe the jet-lag is making you delirious."

"I slept like a newborn baby, thank you," Gia replies. "We flew in early this morning. I've been asleep for the majority of today. I think I must have woken up about an hour or two before I headed out to yours."

"Aw, well, I'm glad I'm so high up on your priority list," I gush playfully.

"Yep. Sleep first, annoying best friend second," Gia teases back.

A timer goes off, signalling the end of the recommended twenty minutes to wear the sheet mask. Before Gia can protest, I promptly take it off and sit up straight in her bed, wiggling my toes.

"What design are you trying to paint on?" I ask.

"Ducks. Isn't it obvious?"

I observe the mangled yellow splodges on my toenails. My face twists. Sometimes, I forget how awful Gia is at nail art. The only person who could possibly be worse than her at crafts or artsy things in general is Hayden.

"Those are the worst ducks I've ever seen."

"Hey!"

I draw my feet closer to me. "Pass me the striper brush," I instruct Gia as I swipe the two nail polish bottles she's holding. "Oh, and the dotting tool next to you."

Gia grudgingly does as I say, passing a basket containing her nail art toolkit to me.

"Maybe I was trying to recreate an ugly duckling," Gia grumbles as she watches me restore the design to something less horrifying to look at.