The Uneventful Life of Harvey Mackler

c h a p t e r | t w e n t y - e i g h t

     ON THE DAY of the surfing finals, I find myself at the opposite end of town, loitering in front of Lancer's martial arts dojo.

"What brings you here, female Hayden?" Lancer says as he invites me in, walking us past a room full of kids who are in the middle of a kickboxing lesson with a different instructor until we reach the main office.

"Female Hayden?" I question.

"I'm testing out new nicknames," he explains, pushing the office door open and gesturing for me to enter first. "You don't like it?"

"Not even slightly," I say as I walk in. "Please don't call me that."

Lancer grins. "If it makes you feel better, I also call Hayden 'male Harvey'?"

"And I'm sure he's as thrilled about it as I am."

"Fine," Lancer concedes. "Moving on, what brings you to the White?"

"Kombucha," I say, dumping a hefty glass jar of the fermented amber-coloured liquid on the table. "Courtesy of Aunt Mila. Mom heard your dad has gotten into the stuff recently, so she wanted you guys to try some of the homemade one Aunt Kamila made us brink back with us."

"Nice. Tell her I said thanks. Can't say I'm a fan, but Dad will probably love this," Lancer says, lifting the jar up to inspect it. "By the way, you come alone? Or is Hunt around here somewhere?"

"He's been running errands all morning," I say. "Though right now, he's probably on his way to the surf finals. You're going too right?"

"Yep. You want a lift I'm guessing?"

"If you don't mind."

"Even if I did mind, I'm sure you would've found a way to crawl into the back of my truck if I refused."

"What can I say?" I joke. "I can be resourceful."

Lancer rolls his eyes in amusement. He sets down the kombucha and goes round the table to sit in his boss's chair. "Anything else?"

I hesitate. "Lance, is it okay if I ask you a question?"

Lancer is swivelling in the seat. He stops to arch an eyebrow at me. "Sure, I only charge after 6 pm."

My forehead puckers, but I decide to ignore his comment and continue on. "How do you think my brothers would react if I liked and was sort-of-maybe going out with one of their friends?"

Lancer's brow arches higher. "Well, Harvey, I'm flattered. But I hope you realise I'm almost four years older than you, and I see you as an infant." He pauses, looking up to the ceiling as he muses. "Baby sister? Baby infant? No, infant sister. I'm afraid I just see you as an infant si—"

I aim a withering look his way. "It's not you."

Lancer smirks. "I know, I'm just toying with you, Harv," he says, getting up. "It's Finn, right?"

"Possibly."

"I'll take that as a yes," Lancer replies. "My opinion, that shouldn't even be an issue. Hunt and Hayden have gone out with your friends plenty of times, so what's stopping you from doing the same? Hell, Hayden is with Gia now, isn't he? And she's your best friend. Aren't you close with Laney too?"

"A little, I guess, yeah."

"So that settles it. If either of them tries to complain, hit them. Hard," Lancer says. "Or better yet, let me hit them."

"I get the feeling you just really want a reason to hit someone."

Lance sighs. "You think being an instructor would be fun, but really, it just involves allowing people to beat you up half the time. Or maybe that's just me. Teagan keeps putting me with the toddlers."