The Uneventful Life of Harvey Mackler

c h a p t e r | t w e n t y - t w o

"I'M NOT FORFEITING Prank Week, Hayden. You should."

Hayden frowns at me. "I'm way ahead of you in terms of points. It's clear I'm going to win, so really, it works in your best interest to quit now."

I scoff. "Don't be so sure."

After a 12-hour ceasefire to allow our parents to settle in, Hayden and I convene in the kitchen in the early hours of the following morning to discuss how to progress with the remainder of Prank Week.

Well. It started out as a discussion. Now, it's an angrily whispered squabble over who should forfeit and let the other party win by default.

"You're being ridiculous, Harvey. I've had more successful pranks than you! How do you even expect to catch up?"

"I'm not exactly going to tell you that, am I?"

"Probably because you have no clue yoursel—"

"What are you two doing here so early in the morning?" Mom asks, surprised to find us in the kitchen. "I assumed everyone would still be asleep."

I plaster a warm smile on my face while Hayden throws an arm over my shoulder.

"Oh, we always wake up around this time," he chirps, pulling me to his side. "Been doing it all summer. You know the saying! Early to bed gets the worm!"

That's not even the right saying.

I subtly nudge him when Mom furrows her brows.

"Too much," I mutter through gritted teeth.

There is a point to Hayden's terrible excuse for acting:

Simply put, if Hunter hates Prank Week, my parents want to throw it and its family in a dumpster fire and watch its first child burn.

When we were younger, they probably found it cute and amusing to watch us play harmless pranks on each other. But when two years ago, Prank Week nearly ended in a trip to the emergency room and the fire department at our doorstep... let's just say there's a fifty fifty chance they'll murder us if they found out we once again went on with it this year.

The only way Hayden and I can be sure to live long enough to crown a victor this summer is by keeping our exploits a total secret from Mom and Dad.

"But Mom, how come you're up so early?" I say. "It hasn't even been a full day since you arrived. Aren't you tired after your journey?"

"Oh, don't worry about me, it's fine. I've gotten far too used to waking up early," Mom responds. "Half seven is sleeping in for me."

Mom strolls across the room to the coffee machine, preparing to brew herself a fresh batch.

"Oh, no. Let me," Hayden insists, sidestepping her so he reaches the coffeemaker first. "I'll make you coffee. In fact, I'll make breakfast for everyone. You just sit and relax."

From the way he's acting, I bet he's rigged the coffeemaker to explode in my face. Hayden only makes breakfast for everyone when he's done something wrong.

"Alright..." Mom hesitantly agrees, quirking a brow. "Anyway, this works out perfectly. I was thinking we could take a look at the front yard today. I noticed you kids haven't been tending to my flowerbed this summer. Harvey, care to join me?"