What am I without you

chapter 4

Avi

"so, tell me about yourself, guide"

"i have a name." i say, taken aback by my sudden confidence.

"i know...avi, but i like calling you guide. so get used to it" he said nudging me followed by a small chuckle. "so.. are you going to tell me anything, i would like to get to know the person i am going to spend the next couple of weeks following around. or maybe we can just become friends"

"now why would you want to be my friend, no one likes me" i mumble.

"why doesnt anyone like you, you seem like a nice guy." he replied. i didnt realize he heard what i said and i just ignore him.

once we reached class i took a seat at the back of the class and he took a seat in the chair next to me. i honestly dont understand why he isnt fed up of me yet. i dont say much, im always in a mood and i dont even show any interest in what he says.

i take out my book and start doodling in it whilst i waited for the rest of the class and the teacher to arrive. because of my new timetable i have new teachers. i look up to see scott staring at me with a smile. how long has he been doing that for and why? there are so many things about him that confuses me. even when i caught him staring he doesnt look away or anything.

"what?" i spoke, getting a little irritated.

"nothing.." he sighed "what ya doodling?" he asks resting his chin on his hand.

"dont worry about it. you dont need to get all in my business" i replied. this is probably the most i have said in a whole day to someone.

"okay, i guess i dont have a choice but to.." he snatched the book out of my hand and looked at my drawing. i tried to get it back but he held me back. i finally managed to get me book back as he fixed his hair. he really crossed the line then.

"you can really draw, do you do art?" i was breathing heavily. trying not to vent my anger out. i looked down, relieved that he only looked at the one page. "are you mad? im sorry, i shouldnt have done that... guide?"

scott

he was ignoring me, im sure he'll come  around later. i turn on my seat to face the front when something caught my atention. a piece of paper was on the floor. i think it may have dropped out of avi's book. avi looked busy in what he was doing so i carefully leaned down and grabbed the piece of paper off the floor. i was about to unfold it and check what it was but the teaher had came in a that moment so i put it in my pocket. i'll check it when i get home. im sure avi wont notice, i'll return it tomorrow when he isnt looking.

avi

at the end of the lesson, i walked straight out of class, i knew scott was following me so i didnt bother waiting or looking back. i went sraight to my locker and slammed the door shut. when i turned round i bumped into scott, who had a huge smile on his face. i movd to the left to walk past him but he copied my steps and blocked my path. i tried going right but he did it again.

"what is it?" i hissed

"forgive me?"

"please just leave me alone."

"i cant, you are my guide, its lunch, im starving and i dont know where the lunch hall is. will you take me there guide"

i let out a huff "follow me" i mumbled.

"yay!"

-

whilst scott was having his lunch, i kept thinking about how i havent encountered kirstie yet. i dont know if i should be worried or not. i try not to focus on what kirstie will do to me and wait for scott to finish his lunch whilst i take a sip of water.

"do you want some?" i shook my head. i wasnt interested in eating right now. i was about to get my book out when someone walked up to us.

"hey guys, choir starts tomorrow, it would be awesome if you guys came along. even if you dont want to sing or play any instruments you can always watch"

"i would lo-" scott began

"no thanks. we are not interested." i cut him off

"speak for yourself, im definetely going, what time, i'll be there."

"take this leaflet, it has all the details."

"thank you..." scott waited for the him to tell him his name.

"mitchell coby michael grassi, but y'all can call me mitch" he said with a smile. "anyways, hope to see you there, and do bring your friend here along."

"i said im not coming" i watched as mitch sent scott a wink before he left. i dont know what i was feeling but i didnt like it. and who does this mitch think he is. doesnt he understand what i said, im not coming not for anyone or anything.

"oh lighten up! please come, for 20 minutes, please!"

"no" i replied

"its just 20 minutes and then we'll leave, please, you are my guide you have to help me! i dont know where the club will be held. please i really want to go"

"no.."

"please" he pouted, i thought about it.

"make it 10 and i'll go."

"fine. yay! you are the best guide evere!" he threw his hand around me. i was in shock by his geasture, he is hugging me... in front people. shit no, i pushed him away.

"you cant do that!" i hissed.

"why not?" i dont know? but i had to say something,

"b-because im gay."

"and?"

"and.. and it w-wouldnt look good if you hug a gay boy and last thing i need is the new kid getting stuck in the same mess as me." i mumbled the last part.

"look, i dont care what people think, and i think you shouldnt either. so what if you are gay, it doesnt make you any less different from the others. we are all different and you should accept it." our eyes were locked and i had just came to realize that i was staring at him the entire time.

i quickly got up without saying a word and walked out of the canteen. i dont know what just happened but i definetely didnt want it happening again.

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it 11pm.... i am debating on writing and posting another chapter.

oh well.

hope you liked this chapter, thanks for readiiinngngnng