Collide and Cry

Strange Feelings

Wei WuXian was awake by the time Lan Zhan and Lan XiChen had returned to see to him. It saved Lan Zhan from being forced to wake the other. He was not sure that he would have really been able to do it. Wei Ying had seemed so very exhausted all of the time, and Lan Wangji knew that it was because he had not been sleeping well, and now that he was aware that the other had injuries, something which he greatly chastised himself for not realizing earlier, it only added to the reasons why Wei Ying would not have been sleeping well. 

He could not blame Jingyi, or SiZhui. They had taken great pains in bringing the teen here in the first place, something which Lan Zhan was grateful for, even if he knew that it was mostly because of his brother's orders. They still had done their best to ensure that Wei Ying was safe and sound during their trek to the Cloud Recesses, and that was something that he could only be thankful for. They had been diligent and wary, and Wei Ying was safe because of that diligence. As for injuries, Lan Zhan alone was responsible for that. He should have checked the other over when he first got here and he had not done so. Furthermore, how could he blame the juniors for failing to tell him of injuries which the younger teen had sustained, when Lan Zhan himself had not even noticed that the other was injured. 

Which was something that rather concerned him, actually. Wei Ying had been here for a while now, quite a few days while waiting for his older brother's return and yet he had not mentioned his injuries at all. Nor had he even seemed injuries in the first place. It only led to cause Lan Zhan to dread just how injured Wei Ying could be given the fact that the other had managed to hide his injuries so well. It was something that led Lan Zhan to believe that he was quite used to being hurt, so he was capable of numbing the pain. Which only served him to feel a flash of hot and intense anger at the Jiang clan. 

He paused, breathing in, calming himself. Lan XiChen looked back at him, worried.

"Wangji, are you alright?" Lan Zhan just barely managed to give his brother an answer, and nodded, not feeling necessary to elaborate further. Not really wanting to risk trying to elaborate, the words having escaped his ability.

 He was just so...angry. He felt this sort of intense anger at those who had unduly harmed Wei Ying. He would like to claim that it was just because Wei Ying was so young, and to go through such suffering was simply a cruelty which could not be condoned in any sort of way no matter who it was. He would like to say such things, but to do so would be to lie, and it was against the GusuLan sect rules to lie. Not that it was against the rules to circumvent the truth a little bit, which Lan Zhan was prone to do instead of just outright lying. He also found that it worked better. Yet it would not work upon himself, no matter how many times that he would love to pretend that it would. 

Even if he would like to pretend otherwise, Lan Zhan knew that there was something about Wei Ying which had pulled him in. Whatever it was that had captured his attention, it held onto him, and Lan Zhan could not really tell you what exactly it was about Wei Ying that had him utterly captivated. He could not really explain the sheer attraction and affection which he felt for Wei Ying. There was just...something so different about the youth, in a way that others were the same, Wei Ying was different. Lan Zhan could feel that, even if he could not really point out what exactly that difference was. 

It was that very difference that made Lan Zhan feel things like he had never felt in the years after his mother's death. If he really wanted to be completely honest with himself, even before that. It was something that he could not quite explain fully, these wealth of emotions. Lan Zhan was never all that great with his emotions in the first place, but having someone who brought them out in such a strong way was strange. He usually managed to have tight and stringent control over himself, over his actions, over his thoughts, and over his emotions. He was a Lan Disciple, and known for his never ending control and restraint. 

Then Wei Ying had come along and he found himself being tested at every twist and every single turn. He could not deny that Wei Ying was partially responsible, after all, the other had become so self sacrificing when Lan ZHan had first met the boy. He had almost sacrificed himself for Jingyi and SiZhui, something which the younger Jade Lan had not really expected, and something which probably-though Lan Zhan could not really be all that certain-kickstarted his admiration and adoration of the other. It would make sense. The Wei Ying that he had scene before the entrance of the Cloud Recesses was about to lay his life on the line for those juniors. He had no reason to, no affiliation to the Gusu Clan, nothing, and yet he had not hesitated. Now, knowing that the other had also been injuried it only endeared Wei Ying to Lan ZHan more. 

Wei Ying just had this way of presenting himself. He had only known the younger for a week, not very long, and yet he could tell that much. He did not like to bother others with what he perceived as his problems. He hated to show his weakness, but when it came down to it he was also willing to shove himself in the most dangerous situations with no recourse, and no hesitation if it were the right cause. If Lan Zhan had not shown up, who knew what would have happened to the younger cultivator. Sure, he had this strange form of cultivation, but the other had looked nearly ready to keel over, something which had caused Lan Zhan no ending amount of panic. Though before he had assumed that it was because of the cultivation that the other had used, not because he was injured, lacked decent sleep, and had not eaten a decent meal in who knew how long. 

Lan Zhan could not really help but admire him. Wei Ying was something that nobody expected and yet everyone envied. He was so selflessly helpless and yet still did his best to aid others no matter what the situation. Lan Zhan found that sense of deep morality admirable and he simply could not help but be in awe of the other. 

It also helped that the other was absolutely gorgeous. 

Lan Zhan, deciding then and there, that the Jiang clan would pay. He would make them pay. He would force Nie Mingjue realize what exactly the Jiang clan had done, the horrors that he had forced upon this innocent life, and he would get the Jiang clan to pay.