Wildfire

Thirty One

At first, I almost think that I've misstepped in asking for something I had assumed would be acceptable for me to want... I should want to hear more of his voice... I just want to melt into the warmth of his chest while his song soothes my riled beast and both halves of my soul...

"Of course it is, little Moon Beam... All you ever need to do is ask..." my Prince, ever kind, doesn't hesitate, his hold on me growing tighter as he settles into his comfortable spot underneath me before he starts humming a melody, one of his hands coming up to brush his fingers over my eyes to encourage them to close before he starts to croon softly into my hair, tender kisses being pressed into me between each phrase as he recites a favorite of mine unknowingly... The story of how the moon and stars came to be, the Goddess of the night sky using her many eyes to keep watch over us while we dream so that we might sleep safely in her goodnight...

It isn't a very long lullaby being one meant for small children who are so often so much more tired than they like to admit after a long day of running around and learning about the world we all live in, but i have no reason to fret, Emrys rolling right into another lullaby when it finishes... And then another one after that...

I did not think that after what happened today that I would be capable of recapturing the calm feeling we had shared before King Xiang had interrupted us during our bath... But here it is settling in the air around us as I rub my hand lazily back and forth across his chest before seeking out his heartbeat for comfort as my worries start to fade away...

...

Emrys

...

It barely takes any time at all to soothe my gentle Rayne to sleep, his exhaustion weighing so heavily on him in such a worrisome way... And yet even as I feel his breathing give way to a deeper, calmer pattern I still cannot help but continue the soft singing that seems to have made him feel so much better...

I sing until Kanaye brings in the replacement bottle of sedative and hands it to me to feel its proper weight... I do not even dare stop to thank the kind physician for offering to take it from me and stash it under our bed while I continue to cradle my sweet as he finally gets the rest his been craving so very badly... I don't even stop to wish the good doctor a goodnight of his own, only a nod to him as I notice the flush lingering in his cheeks as he takes his leave that I hadn't noticed when he had arrived, a muttering that I cannot make out over the sound of my own melodies being uttered as he lets himself out and closes the door behind him.

I sing... And I sing... And I sing... I sing because Rayne has asked me to... And also so that I may unburden my soul of the stress and the pain that has surrounded our finding of each other... All I ever wanted was to find my bride and settle into a happy life together... I wanted the branch families to uphold the values that had once been so important to us all instead of fostering their own snobbishness and cruelty... I had wanted my bride to be celebrated by everyone for his stunning beauty and gentle charm... Not beaten and poisoned...

I sing until my soul finally feels lighter, and then continue on to express my own exhaustion... My lullabies morphing into apologies I know Rayne won't remember in the morning as he nuzzles into my hold of him, tiny grunts leaving him as the tears I had not allowed myself to cry last night and after Rayne's distress, this afternoon to finally fall from my eyes...

My tears land softly in his hair as I continue to apologize to his unconscious form... All I had ever intended to do was love him... Sitting there all by himself at his family's table last night all I could think was how desperately lonely he had looked... The way he had bowed so deeply that he had ended up pressing his forehead to the tiles in front of my feet had told me just how much he had felt out of place and I fear that I have done nothing to make him feel otherwise...

My desire for his dazzling captured starlight had singled him out and caused him to become the victim of such vicious attacks...

I apologize for all of it... All of it... And I know that no amount of coddling or gifts could possibly make up for the pain that I've caused to befall my sweet delicate Moon Beam... I apologize until my throat feels raw as I hold him close and weep as quietly as I can manage to without waking him... Only to have my effort to silence myself be in vain, a lullaby leaking into the air from a voice that is not my own, Rayne having stirred without me noticing as he starts to coo to me... his hand moving up to cup my cheek, his thumb caressing the tender flesh of my cheek as he soothes me...

...

Rayne

...

I know not how long it has been since my eyes were last open, but the lack of light in the room from any of the candles littered about and the fireplace being so dim suggests that maybe I've been sleeping for longer than I originally thought, my mind turning instead to the heartbreaking pleas leaving my finance for me to forgive him... To forgive the transgressions he himself had not carried out against my person...

And even though my body still very much rejects the feel of me commanding my sore muscles to move when they would rather stay tucked so comfortably on Emrys's warm chest I find myself wiggling to my knees so that I might move myself up onto the pillows next to him, sitting up but supported against the hardness of the headboard while he captures one of my hands to pressed fevered kisses to the back of it while he continues to cry and beg for me to grant him forgiveness... A forgiveness that comes in the form of me tugging on him until I have him cradled as best that I can so that he might lean upon my shoulder while returning my embrace, my voice low as I assure him that of course he is forgiven... That forgiveness is something he never had to ask for in the first place because he's done nothing wrong...

Oh... This gentle man...

How can he already have my heart after only a day?