Wildfire

Forty Six

Despite having taken the sedative, I hardly slept... With every bump and shift in the night... I found myself startling Emrys awake with my panicked screaming... Every night terror that plagued me contained his face... And when the first traces of morning show up in the calls of the birds that live outside the castle calling to one and other to make sure that they've all still made it through the night... I find myself feeling nauseated with my head throbbing something fierce while I shiver in my sweet Prince's protective hold as he attempts to shield me from the world that seems so intent on hurting me...

All night Emrys had done his best to try and soothe my soul... Crooning to me the lovesongs of his beast to try and settle mine down enough to truly rest, and while any other time that and the warmth of his chest combined with the sedative I would have been unconscious faster than one can blow out a candle... But it had not worked... And I feel terrible and as if he feels as though he's failed me when truly he has not...

...

Emrys

...

When Kavya and Ronin announce themselves during the early morning shift change with Indra and Bohdi now free to get themselves some rest in whichever of our rooms they please, none of our team comfortable straying too far from our sides with Shen still at large, their dedication to us something I am so very thankful for, they let in the two maids that have been charged with the responsibility of bringing our meals from here on out, the dining room too full of entrances and exits to defend properly for either of us to feel comfortable staying any meaningful amount of time there, much less suffer a whole meal... Most of which no doubt would be commanded by my Father showing his ass and acting out as retaliation for the snub delivered to him yesterday morning. 

No doubt my Father will be licking his wounds over the period of our courting, every new pledge of fealty to my beautiful Queen before our official coronation a well-deserved slap to his constantly smug face... Something I shall take great pleasure in no matter if he chooses to make the rest of us miserable as a result... For there is no doubt in my mind that his twisted rulership is what is at fault for fostering the very mindset that had developed in Shen Hirai that made he and his brother think it socially acceptable to attack Rayne in the first place just because of his birth station of all things... As if my sweet shard of starlight had not been taken in by one of their fellow appointed branch families... A highly respected one at that. 

No matter how hard I try I cannot seem to keep my hate for that man and his family from my heart, this whole situation souring my mood towards everyone but my sweet Moon Beam... My countenance lukewarm enough to cause the maids to nearly trip over themselves in their effort to escape the room, both of them pausing only long enough to quickly swear themselves to Rayne, something that they had not been allowed in to do last night with how distraught my timid bride had become. 

...

Rayne

...

When the tasters arrive shortly after the maids leave I find their numbers tripled, six of them showing up in the cluster that had been organized by Cho last night, none of them allowed to leave their grouping due to the three soldiers assigned to watch over them to ensure that no tampering can possibly come about with the men responsible for keeping us from falling prey to another of my tormentor's skillful use of poison, the silver spoons they all use while sampling our dishes for us all being surrendered to Kavya to dip into a bath of water in a pure silver bowl just as I had been informed he would do last night to make certain that they themselves have not been sneakily laced or replaced with a cheaper substitute that would not turn pitch black if touched by one of the ill-fated poisons capable of felling one of our kind. 

When my guard is done, he hands the spoons back to each of them but takes no time to exit, instead, from what I can see he simply crosses his arms and leans back on his heals intent to watch over us until they have all taken their taste from what looks to be porridge and some kind of sweet confection that there had been brought double of to ensure that there is no foul play when they each take a bite. 

After they continuously pledge themselves to me one after the other to pass the time needed to wait out any possible ill-effects of anything that could have possibly been slipped into our early morning meal they finally part from us and leave us in something that cannot quite be called peace and quiet... More like... Quiet tension threatening to eat us both alive if we don't cling to each other almost too steadfastly to actually try and stomach any of the food so kindly brought to us... 

I... I know that I do need to go ahead and try and eat when Emrys shows signs of mentally preparing himself to feed us both, his own exhaustion mirroring my own in what feels like a most exaggerating way though I know none of his frustration is aimed at me... 

No...I know my sweet fiance is more likely blaming himself just like he had done when I had first been violated... His true feelings of what I think may be most aptly described as guilt over the state of my welfare both mental and physical, his emotions surely to swirl inside of him bottled up as his anger does its best to burn what it can of it away... Though I am worried...

 I am worried that once Shen Hirai is thought dead my beautiful husband will melt into himself and dissolve into a fluttering puddle of tears and grief just as he had the other night, and I do not know if my heart can handle hearing how much he has blamed himself for all of this.