Wildfire

Forty Five

The choice to avoid joining the rest of the palace for dinner had been one that had hardly needed to be discussed, my sweet Rayne too exhausted from his own fear to try and even entertain the idea of having to bear the presence of my father or anyone else unpleasant at the moment, nor should he have to... The fact that our personal chambers are also easier to defend also weighed heavily on the matter, Rayne's safety just as much a priority as his comfort... 

No food had been sent for though, both of us too anxious to eat... Both of us nearly too anxious to breathe properly unless we cling to each other in the most desperate of ways, both of us seeking to draw and offer comfort at the same time. 

I am not sure either of us will actually be able to sleep, but there is no harm in the two of us retiring for the evening after the secret meeting had adjourned after settling on a plan that not only protects my delicate Moon Beam but also tracks down the stray Hirai, the burning of his body to be carried out by no one but myself, though I have made it very clear that I care not what state he is brought to me in... I would not be able to derive as much pleasure from burning his corpse as I would being able to listen to the panicked screams sure to leave him if he is unlucky enough to be brought to me alive, but my bloodlust for that miserable wretch would be satisfied all the same. 

But that is not something I am sure we will have to deal with tonight, for after his little display of treason in the pub where he was last seen trying to gather supporters to try and gain aid in his misguided endeavor he has seemingly hidden himself away and done so quite well much to my disappointment... Though I am sure the temporary peace will not last... He will eventually make himself known... He will eventually show his disgusting face and I shall have the satisfaction of destroying him, my flames going to bathe his body for every moment of fear he has put my delicate treasure through.

I do not bother asking my shivering shard of starlight if he would like a dose of the sedative that had lain seemingly untouched under our bed... He needs it and if I myself were not responsible for his safety I would be half tempted to swallow a dose myself. I simply call for one of the guards to join us and tell them of the tasting I need them to perform since I know Rayne will not swallow any of the medicine with fear still so deeply rooted in his belly at the moment, and Indra complies without complaint, Ronin and Kavya having stashed themselves away temporarily to explain to India the importance of him staying within our chambers permanently for the time being for his own safety... That poor scholar will feel sick with fever by the time he sees the outside world again being cooped up in here for who knows how long...But it truly is for the best of everyone that he keep himself out of sight so that he can never be used as a tool against his husbands while they fulfill their duty to their Queen. 

...

Rayne

...

Try as I might try and convince myself that I do not want the tiny cup being offered me full of the bitter liquid that always seems so eager to rush me off to sleep... When Emrys presses the rim to my lips I find myself urging him to tip it faster so that I may swallow the whole dose in one go... With the way my nerves are currently consuming me, I cannot stand the thought of keeping myself awake any longer... I want the bliss that comes with sleep... I want the true unconsciousness that will come to me with the medication... And... And I know it is safe for me to surrender myself to the unconsciousness I know will wipe my worries away because my sweet Prince has renewed his promise never to leave my side... And I know I can trust him to keep that promise because he loves me. 

As soon as he is sure that the medicine has been safely swallowed down to the last drop Emrys pulls the dosing cup away from my mouth and sets it back under the bed next to the bottle after assuring me that he'll have it rinsed out before it comes time for the next dose... Another promise I know I can trust him to keep. 

I do not have to ask my future husband if he will hold me the way I need him to... Instead, he simply settles himself down in our bed and pulls me close until I can drape myself over his chest before thinking better of it and squirming until I can rest on the side of me that is not aching and urge him to rearrange himself... Something he does without complaint once he realizes what I am wanting of him... The way his body slides itself behind mine something I think will always give me shivers no matter how distraught my soul feels... No matter how violated my mind feels when I close my eyes and the first thing I see is the memory of fists being raised and feet being sung my way. 

The visceral visual is one that makes me flinch backward and I find myself adjusting one final time until it is my chest that is pressed against Ermys's flesh, my face burying itself in his broad chest while the arm draped around my waist pulls me as close as physically possible so that he might comfort me while I try and hide from my memories and release the tears that I am not sure have ever really stopped since finding out Shen Hirai is still at large.