The Cabin's Walls

Ghost

I am watching them party while I am just sipping my beer here near the kitchen counter. I don't really have a good mood since yesterday night and even awhile ago. I don't know if I should feel this way but I'm getting mad at Jimin for having Jungkook.

When I heard them say I love you's to each other, it felt like my world has crumbled, torn and ripped into tiny pieces. I've never felt so broke before.. maybe because this is my first time. I cried so hard that I slept on the couch.

After that, I've felt what I feared the most - anger. Jimin is my bestfriend, my soulmate and I never expected this to happen. However, I love Jungkook too and I'm still not sure what I will do. Then this day, we went to the island. Even in the boat, they are still flirting and it makes me jealous. I want to lean on Jungkook's shoulder as well, intertwine our hands and just be close to each other.

When we got there, all they did was kiss each other, take a picture of each other, do everything with each other and it makes me feel sick. Why do I have to see them like that?

Even when I am with Jungkook, it feels like he's not with me. He always talks to Jimin and I'm...

I'm hurt...

So when we watched a movie and when Angel stole France from Sabrina, I felt like I am Angel. I just love Jungkook.

Should the main characters always be the ones who'll end up happy? How about people like me? We have feelings too. We fall in love too and we can't choose who we will love. How about us? How about me? Who will fight for us? Should we do nothing? Should we always leave our lives miserable and hope for other people's success and let them be? Do we even have the chance to be better? To feel loved? To feel important? Because the ones who are always given that chance are all them. The whole world should revolve to them, fight for them, and leave us torn apart behind. All we did was fall in love and take the chance to have a better life with the ones we love. But we can't, we shouldn't, we won't, we must not because we will hurt other people - even if it will hurt ourselves. Should we always be the one who will step aside? The one who will end up hurt? Should people always be biased? We are hurt. We are in pain. But to their eyes, we are not important.

So now, I am sitting here on the kitchen counter, looking at them partying happily. While I, I'm here with a broken heart.

"Hey guys, I'm sooooow d-dwunk w-wanna sweep here" Jungkook is cute even when he's drunk, how could not anyone fall in love with him?

"Okay let's go back to our rooms now, we've drank more than enough", finally.. I wanna breathe.. I feel suffocated here..

"Babyyyy good niiiightttt, wuv youuuuu", please just shut up.. just shut up..

"I love you too Ggukie, sleep now okay?", I love you too Jungkook... why can't you love me too?

"My head huwts", I can take care of you..

"Let's sleep now then, you and Tae will go to your room now okay? Tae will help you" Yes I will help you no matter what.. but please, please love me too..

"Okay"

I pulled him closer to me and I feel his hot body, literally hot. I guided him and walked slowly to our room.

"Hyung I'm g-gonna thwowww up", I immediately opened our door and went to the bathroom. He puked on his shirt so I helped him remove it. God- his bare body.. I remembered what happened here last night. Fuck, just the though of it's getting me a boner. Good thing Jungkook is drunk.