The Traitor (The Third Wheel's spin-off)

Chapter Thirty-One: Let it happen (Part I)

Warning : Smut (these kind of warnings always sound more like a promise to me but whatever, you've been warned dear readers ;) )

Two months later...

I'm stressed.

No, that's the understatement of the century: I'm ready to shit a brick, which isn't such a good thing when you're about to have anal sex, I'm sure you can figure out the reason why.

Ugh, good thing Malik cannot read my thoughts, because while I want to appear sexy and confident, I'm a mess inside.

I don't know why I'm so nervous about it. After all, I was the one to suggest that we decide on a date to seal the deal, while Malik wanted to just "let it happen". Maybe I should have agreed with him, instead of putting unecessary pressure on myself by setting a date. I just wanted to have time to prepare everything and make this day even more special.

Time flied and now it's The Day, with capital letters. Fuck.

Don't get me wrong, I really want to do it. I've been thinking about it for weeks, and only started getting apprehensive last night. For that reason, I couldn't sleep really well, although I did my best to dodge Malik's questions.

I know it will be great. Plus, it's not like we haven't fooled around already. I know his body, and he knows mine. Frankly, his dick is the only thing that hasn't been in me yet.

Yeah, that's right - he even got his big toe inside.

I'm kidding, alright? Just kidding. Tsk, some people have a naughty mind.

It will be great. There's no reasons for things to go downhill, right? Please, someone tell me that we will be alright.

I'm a bit embarassed to even admit it to myself, but what I'm most afraid of are my own reactions. What if he can't get it in, or if I cannot bear the pain, although I know he will be careful? I haven't had sex since that one time I did it with Adrien. It was a nightmare for me, but that asshole also said it didn't feel great for him either. What if Malik loses his hard-on because I react like a scared baby? What if he doesn't get hard at all?

Oh my god, what if I start crying?

"Pup? Aren't you coming?" Malik asks in a very soft voice that makes me feel somehow ashamed of my skittish behaviour.

That's right. I told him to wait for me in the living room, while I finish doing the dishes. That's just an excuse to buy myself some time, of course, and I doubt he fell for it, but he kindly didn't comment on that and now he's been patiently waiting for me in the living-room for almost fifteen minutes.

"Almost done!" I reply in a fakely enthusiastic voice.

Fifteen minutes. Who takes so long to clean up the dishes? And we're only two persons.

I have to admit that so far, everything has been perfect. More than perfect. Maybe that's what terrifies me the most. Things can never be perfect for too long.

Like the two grandpa that we are, we decided not to go out and to have a nice evening at home. I insisted to cook, because Malik usually is the one to do the cooking and I wanted to make something nice for him, for once. I went for lasagna, because it's one of the few nice dishes I can make, plus who doesn't love lasagna?

We spent the afternoon chilling in the garden, talking and reading and cuddling in the hammock. He offered me new plants that he bought from the small flower shop close to our house, and we planted them together. I almost cried at the small, yet heartwarming gesture. How can I hope not to cry tonight, when my goddam emotions are already all over the place?