strawberry milkshakes | wolfstar (OFFICIALLY DISCONTINUED)

The Unbearable Crisis

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This Chapter's Song:

1-800-273-8255 by Logic

"All this other shit I'm talkin' 'bout, they think they know it
I've been praying for somebody to save me, no one's heroic"

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When Remus and Lily closed up Savannah's for the day, they drove home like usual.

Remus was silent the whole way back to their apartment, staring out the window as he listened to Lily sing quietly along with the radio.

He felt numb.

He was going insane earlier, trying to get all the annoying thoughts out of his head. But now? Remus didn't feel anything now. It was like all of his senses were turned off. He was just gone, a lifeless shell of himself.

He would so rather be dealing with his thoughts than be numb.

The car suddenly stopped, and Remus looked to Lily who was grabbing her purse and getting out of the car. Remus' eyes darted back to the window and he gulped as he realized that they were back home.

They headed up to their apartment, Remus dragging his feet up each step like they weighed two tons. He stared at the floor as Lily unlocked the door, walking in before sighing. Remus followed her through the entrance, stalling in the front room as Lily took off her shoes. She looked up at Remus to see him staring ahead in silence, eyes filled with nothingness.

"Rem," she said softly. "Are you alright?"

Remus' head shot over to Lily, and he smiled weakly. "Of course."

She smiled as well before giving him a quick hug and kiss on the cheek. She waved to him slightly as she headed into her room, shutting the door behind her.

Remus let out a sharp breath as he was left in the hallway, alone with his thoughts yet again. He kicked off his shoes before throwing them somewhere—he couldn't remember where, exactly, and laid down on the couch.

He rubbed his temples, trying to get anything to run around his head, trying to focus on anything other than the fact that he felt hopeless.

But he couldn't.

He laid on the couch, eyes glued to the ceiling, and brain empty. He suddenly felt a small tear roll down his cheek, but his eyes stayed focused ahead, letting the wetness coat his cheeks.

He sat up abruptly and walked into his room, suddenly feeling like he couldn't breathe. He clutched his chest as he shut his door shakily, hyperventilating quietly. He backed up against the door, starting to cry silently as his hands shook violently.

He gripped at his hair, trying to calm down his breathing, when the thoughts suddenly came back.

Oh, how he wished he was numb now.

He didn't like the thoughts anymore.

He wanted to be numb.

Please.

Stop it.

You forgot again, Remus.