silent storms | AWAE

not ready

anne

"This is all so crazy," Diana Barry comments, sitting on the edge of her bed. She tilts her head towards Anne Shirley, who's standing against the door, staring down at her shoes. The feeling of embarrassment and innocence had never fully left her. What she hoped was that she didn't always feel like this around Diana.

"I know, Jerry and Elliot? Who would've thought!" Ruby Gillis exclaims, her eyes lighting up. "At least the bullies can stop teasing us now."

"Ruby!" Diana shouts, smacking her girlfriend on the leg. "Don't be mean."

Ruby shrugs, glancing at Anne, her eyes fixated on her auburn hair. Anne looks up, catching Ruby's eye and smiling at the tiny girl. Ruby smiles back at her, a softness in her eyes. Anne then winks at her, starting to giggle. Ruby follows suit and eventually everyone is laughing in the Barry-Shirley room.

"Knock knock," Elliot Elling voice rings out alongside the knocking on the door that Anne is currently leaning against.

"Hold on!" Anne says, backing away from the door, letting Elliot push through and stand in front of the three girls. "What's up?"

"Not much, just wanted to say hi to my favorite girls," Elliot laughs, leaning against the side of the doorpost. All three girls blush, feeling favored.

"And what about me?" Kenna Brookes asks, popping her head out from the room next to Anne's. "Already replaced?"

"Never," Elliot gushes, pulling Kenna next to him from Josie and Jane's room. Kenna leans her head against Elliot's shoulder, looking up at him. He wraps his arm around her, pulling her as tight as he can.

"As much as I love watching whatever this is, I have to go and unpack, apparently there's a new girl in my dorm. My roommate dipped," Ruby announces, hopping off Diana's bed and making her way to the door. "Couldn't handle it."

With that, Ruby disappears down the hallway.

"Strange girl," Kenna remarks and everyone nods in agreement, even Diana.

~

Anne's sitting at her desk, scrolling mindlessly through her laptop, trying to find something to do. Every so often she hears music playing from Diana's corner of room while she scrolls through her social media.

"Is everyone doing it now?" Anne asks suddenly, slamming her laptop shut. She turns around to look at Diana who's looking at her in horror. She slowly turns off her phone and sits up straighter.

"Um," Diana pauses, trying to think of the right answer to tell Anne. "No."

"Bullshit," Anne snapped, shaking her head aggressively. "You're just saying that to make me feel better."

Diana's eyebrows furrow, her eyes confused. "Anne, I would never lie to you. I'm not just saying that to make you feel better. I don't really know how to answer that. It all depends on your relationship and how you and your partner are feeling."

Anne can feel tears coming on and she knows she shouldn't, but she does. She felt like such a baby compared to Diana, even though she knew deep down that she wasn't. "Am I holding Gilbert back?" she mutters, looking down at her hands.

"Oh no! Honey, you are not!" Diana consoles, rushing over to Anne's side. She wraps her arms around her best friend, leaning in close to Anne. "Gilbert loves you. You are not holding him back."

"What if he's just not telling me!" Anne stammers, curling into Diana's grasp. "What if he knows I'm not ready and doesn't want to make me upset!"

Diana places both hands on Anne's shoulders and forces her to look at her. "Anne, I love you, but you've said enough things Gilbert doesn't want to hear that I think he would've mentioned it to you by now," she laughs uncomfortably, her eyes traveling the room.

"I suppose you're right," Anne says, scratching the back of her neck to avoid the awkwardness in the room. "Should I ask him about it?"

"Are you ready for his answer?" Diana asks, taking a step back. "He is a teenage boy after all."

Her remark stops Anne for a second, causing her to think. What if he said yes? It meant that he lusted for her and wanted to see her. What if he said no? Anne didn't want to think about that. Honestly, Anne didn't want to think about any option. "I guess I'm not ready," she admits, her fingers trailing the edge of her desk.

"And that's okay," Diana reassures the auburn headed girl, knowing that she's upset by this conversation. "You don't have to do it to know you're in love. I hope you know that."

Anne meets Diana's eyes and she knows immediately that they're hiding something.

Not again, Anne thinks to herself, shaking her head.

"Let's go see Ruby's new roommate!" Anne changes the conversation immediately, trying to get out of the uncomfortable air. "I bet she's beautiful."

"Every girl here is," Diana laughs, opening the door.

"Must be hard to be a lesbian," Anne winks at her as she passes through the doorway.

"You're one to talk, you like everyone," Diana pushes back, causing the girls to go into a laughing fit down the hallway.