** Amber's POV**
Iris was still in her room and didn't want to come out... I really hate seeing her like this! She's not even crying anymore, she just lay in her bed, staring at the ceiling or a picture of Jonas and her. I miss my cheerful little sister and I know the guys do too. Luke and Ashton have been taking turns to try and make her laugh but she shuts anyone out, even me.
I walked downstairs as the doorbell rang. I opened the door and Mr. Green stood there, he was our neighbour.
"Hello sir, how can I help you?" I asked as I smiled at him.
"Well, Iris Young lives here right?"
"Yes, she does sir..."
"I think the mailman delivered this letter at the wrong address."
"Well, thank you sir! That's really kind of you." I said as I took the letter.
"It's no bother! I'm glad I could help!" He said and turned around.
"Bye!" I yelled before I closed the door.
I looked at the return address and saw it was from Jonas. I know I really shouldn't open it but my curiosity was eating me alive. I ran upstairs into my room and looked at the letter again. I really wanted to know what he had written to Iris but I know it was wrong.
I ran out of my room and into Iris' without knocking... Luke was talking to Iris while she was looking out the window. This looked so wrong! Luke made so much effort to make Iris feel better and nothing could make her smile or even talk.
"Iris..." I said and she looked at me for a second before looking outside the window again.
"Iris... Mr. Green, the neighbour brought a wrong delivered letter. It's for you and it's from Jonas." I spoke again and that caught her attention. I reached out the letter to her and she took it.
"You want to read it alone?" I asked and she nodded, I leaded Luke out of her room and he look at me with a confused look.
"What was that all about?" He asked.
"I honestly don't know Luke! I haven't read the letter, how much as I wanted to I couldn't! Maybe this will help her let go..." I said as we walked downstairs.
"When did you get this letter and why haven't you told me before?" He went on and I looked at him with an annoyed look.
"I received it just 5 minutes before I stormed into Iris' room so I couldn't have told you before!" I said.
** Iris' POV**
Dear Iris,
Lately I was watching an episode of SpongeBob and he said something I can't get out of my head. He said 'let go of what's killing you and hold on to what keeps you breathing.' It's really stuck in my head and I'll tell you why, if I would let you of all the bullies and hate and just hold on to you again, I should be fine. But then I realized that's not fair to you! You are the only thing keeping me alive and I know it's giving you a hard time, especially when you're at the other side of the world.
I'm not ready to say goodbye yet so I might tell you where I want to go with this letter... Iris, it has been horrible since you left! I feel like I have nobody to talk to and I know we can call but it's just not the same! I miss your hugs, your smile, your smell... I miss you! But look at me now, how lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard... I know I quoted Winnie the Pooh, haha.
The bullying has gotten even worse since you left, they punch and kick me... one kid even putted my head in the toilet and I don't want to live in fear anymore! I want all this pain and humiliation to stop because it's exhausting! I get so tired of all the bullying because I know exactly what's going to happen next and it'll never stop!
I want you to know this is not your fault! The bullies owe all of it not you! I know you'll feel like if you hadn't left you could have saved me again but no you couldn't have! I'm too far in now... I had a bottle of pills 2 minutes ago and when I'm ready, I have some vodka to drink... Iris I want you to know I tried to stop myself! I really tried, I even tried to stop cutting! But we both know I'm not good at doing things differently right...
A part of me died a long time ago, so now it's time to find myself again and I feel like I can only do that when I'm gone... this isn't forever, this is until we find a way! We'll meet again, I promise, I just hope it's not too fast because that would mean you'd die too and you can't! You have to live life to the fullest! You have to live life for both of us, while I'll protect you from above!
I know I'm selfish at the moment but that's all I can be at the moment... I deserve to be happy again, right? That's what you told me... This makes me happy, to have the feeling that after this everything will be over and that I will be in a better place.
My time has come and I'm starting to feel a bit light headed so I'm going to finish this letter soon! You want to know the real reason why I cut and abuse myself? I see happy people everywhere I look and then I start to wonder why couldn't be like that, like normal... I think God will like me because God likes anybody, right? I love you Iris! You're the best friend anyone could ask for, you weren't just a girl to me, you were my soul mate!
Cheer up, sweet beautiful girl! You are going to love and be loved again and it will be magnificent! I really don't want to say goodbye to you but sometimes goodbye is the only way! Sleep tight babe!
With love
Jonas
**Iris's pov**
Tears were streaming down my face after reading Jonas' letter. I felt a little better now. I know it's not my fault now. Now I think about it, I knew this would come though. He wasn't happy anymore and I know what it feels like. I know what it feels like to self harm and wanting to die. You're stuck in your own thoughts and in some kind of cage you can't escape from. The only way to escape is die. Or find something that makes you happy again.
I decided to get up and go down stairs. Since it was pretty cold I first decided to change from my nirvana shirt and some black nylons to my long sleeved crop top with 'strong' on it and some black pants. I took my brown UGG's and went down stairs. Everyone was sitting on the couch and I sat down on an empty spot next to Harry.
Everyone gave me stranger looks and I decided to speak up.
"what's wrong?" I said.
"YESS!! She talks!" Amber came to me and gave me a hug. I gave her a little smile and everybody smiled.
Luke took me on his lap and started to leave sweet little kisses all over my face, what made me giggle.
"lets watch a happy movie!" Ashton said and walked over to the TV. " we have; Dumbo, Pinocchio, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, Bambi, Cinderella, Alice in Wonderland, Peter pan...
"I wane see peter pan" I smiled.
"that's settled than!" he said and placed the DVD in the DVD player and sat down again.
YOU ARE READING
exchange students (5sos fanfic)
Fanfiction"We thought maybe it's good for you to live with another family for a while..." dad said. "WHAT?!" we both yelled. "Were sending you to Australia" mum said. If we would only know what would happen next or who we would meet. This is a story about tw...
