Your Guardian Angel (Jelix)

Anger gets nowhere

Throughout the rest of the day was uneventful, someone tried to hit on me but Ken helped me out and got them off my back. Jack was still being treated as if he was invisible except when he was with us. Then he was seen.

It was actually extremely sad to see but he just went about it like it was normal. Amy and Mika tried to cheer him up slightly in Math since the rest of us don't have that lesson with him. Mark and Ethan wanted their girlfriends to know us as well so we can all go over and play games or hang out.

Ken also wanted Mary to know us but she doesn't have any classes so had to wait until lunch but they were all super nice and it seemed to lift Jack's spirits a little which everyone was really happy to see. He didn't eat much of the food I packed for him though which I was upset to see.

Once the day was over we got each others numbers and went our separate ways. Me obviously going with Jack. Oh yeah forgot to mention. When angels go down to earth they always have a phone with them mainly so that the person they are visiting can contact them if needed. Oops, Just broke fourth wall. Oh well, I'll just make Ken or Ethan to fix it.wait no not Ethan I do not trust him with a hammer. Ken or Mark. Yeah that's much better Anyway let's get back on with the story.

When we returned home I wanted to just try and convince Jack to go. I already said yes and can't bail out now no matter how much I want to. Then only reason I agreed was because I thought he was coming to but then he said no.

"Jack, it'll be fun!"

"Felix I said no. But you go. Have fun, I'm not going to do anything."

"When you say that it just makes it seem like you are going to do something."

"What so you don't trust me now? Is that it?"

"No, Jack I do trust you."

"Obviously not. I just need time to myself and cool down rethink a couple things that's it but I can't do that when someone is constantly trying to help me out this is something I have to do on my own."

"Oh well I'm sorry that I'm trying to HELP you!"

"This is something you can't HELP with, so go and have fun!"

I tried not to get angry and I understand that Jack needs his privacy every once in a while but he wasn't bothered about it until the stupid nightmare.

"Is this about the dream?"

"What no! It has nothing to do with that! I told you I just need time!"

"Yeah well I'm afraid to lose you so unless you tell me exactly what you're going to do, I'm not leaving!"

"Awh, that's cute. You're afraid to lose me," he was treating this like a game and it was pissing me off. I tried so hard to keep my voice down and listen to  Chase. I've just gained three of the alters trust including Jack's I don't want to lose it already.

"Jack please I just want to make sure you'll be okay."

"THEY ARE ALL WAITING FOR YOU! YOU ARE TEN MINUTES LATE ALREADY JUST GO! ILL BE FINE!"

"For gods sake! You are so FUCKING stubborn it's actually hurting!"

"Oh. Well if that's the case THEN YOU MAY AS WELL FUCKIN' LEAVE!"

"FINE THEN I WILL! Only tried to help! Stubborn little bitch, I hate you!"

I realised what I said but it was too late. Not only did I raise my voice but told him I hate him and that he's a bitch and stubborn. "Jack I'm so sorry." I tried to apologise but he had no expression. Not even sadness.

"Just leave. Don't come back tonight at all." His voice was so bland. No emotion was shown through it and there was no hint of anger or anything. Not knowing what else to do I reached for the doorhandle only to have him say, "and don't worry Felix. I hate me too."

My heart ached and I wanted to reverse time so badly but I'm not that type of angel. Only certain ones could do that. How much I want that power right now.

Although I can't reverse time, I can freeze it. All angels that have been dead for longer than 10 years can do this. So I froze it. Turned around and saw Jack standing there with the same expression. Same dead expression.

His lips were slightly parted and his eyes were open staring at the door watching me leave. "I'm so sorry Jack. I wish I could reverse time make this all okay again but I can't. How much I wish I could."

Luckily no one would remember what happened here except me but if I kiss him without him knowing, that's a bit creepy. But goddamn his lips were so kissable. So soft. The temptation almost made me forget about why I froze time in the first place. I decide to just give him a light kiss on the forehead instead. Then went back to the position I was in, to unfreeze time.

I'm so sorry Jack. Truly.

Once I got there, everyone was questioning why I looked so upset but I just couldn't talk about it. Ken knew that it had to be something with Jack so he just waited until everyone else is busy, then he would talk to me. "What happened between you and Jack?"

"I...I crossed a line Ken, I really did. This time I don't know if I can fix it." I said my voice getting sadder and sadder but I refused to cry. I couldn't. I wouldn't. He rubbed my back to try and help me and Mark seen us and walked over. "I'll leave if needed but are you okay Felix?"

"No it's not. I said something I can't take back. Not properly anyway. He will probably forgive but he shouldn't."

"What did you say? And to whom?"

"I told Jack I hated him and called him a stubborn little bitch..." I was waiting for anger or being shouted at but Mark just sat beside me and hugged me and Ken did too. "Our anger controls us sometimes. You get lost in the moment then say the wrong thing and you've lost a friend. Trust me I did it with a couple of my friends but thankfully they backlashed so the next day it was okay."

"Marks right. He probably said something back too-"

I cut him off and stood up looking at them both. "He didn't say anything back that's the point. He just went completely motionless and told me to leave. I didn't know what else to do. He said he didn't want to see me at all tonight."

"Jacks a gentle soul, he will forgive you. It'll just take a couple days. A week at most."

"Yeah, if all he did was tell you to leave he probably just wants to rethink a couple things. Make sure he did the right thing." Mark added and he was probably right. I should've just let him  do that in the first place instead of getting so defensive over it. "It'll blow off soon. Now, let's try to enjoy the time we have now instead of dwelling on the past. Future is always better than past.I believe we all fall down sometimes, just gotta push through" After Mark said that, we all walked back to the living room and decided to put on a film. I was the only one who didn't have a girlfriend or a partner of any sorts but I didn't mind. Not that part at least.

I just didn't think I'd need someone as much as I need Jack right now.