Chapter 6

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Sofia and I were sitting behind the stage, watching the boys from behind a giant wall, so we wouldn't be seen.

The entire show, we watched our boys. I watched Harry, and Sof watched Niall. 

I just couldn't take my eyes off of this crazy goofball that I call my...

Well, I don't even know what to call him. Right now, we're just friends. Yes I like him but I can't distinguish if we are anything more right now because he might just he the sweetest boy and I'm overthinking his genuine actions.

Although, my thoughts quickly changed

During "Little Things," Sofia and I's favorite song, Harry sang his solo and most of the song looking directly at me or at Niall jokingly so fans wouldn't catch on.

During Niall's solo, he walked right next to the wall, and held Sofia's hand the whole time, and when he screamed "YOU SING" to the fans at the end of the solo, he looked at her with the biggest smile.

If those weren't romantic gestures, I honestly don't know what would be.

We continued to watch the rest of the show, and when they came off we both ran into their open arms.

Although both were sweaty and out of breath, I didn't want to be anywhere else at that particular moment.

I started to think about everything going on in my life in the midst of being in his arms.

Christmas is coming up, in just a few days but Sofia and I typically spend it at her parents house and my dad tags along.

My mom passed away a few years back, unfortunately taken from cancer.

Sof was with me when I found out.

I was just about to leave for school with her when my dad screamed to tell me not to go, the second I heard the fear in his voice, I knew.

All morning that morning people had come to give us their condolences, mostly close family friends and just family.

Most entered her room to say their goodbyes

I couldn't, I know she was my mom and everyone else could..

But I couldn't bare to see her in the state she never wished for me to see. She always told me never to stop believing in myself, and to treat her like she's not dying.

How could I go against her wishes and see her in a state of, well death. 

I never wanted to see her in that state anyway, how could one ever unsee the body of their own mother...

I already had to watch her suffer, beautifully for months. With a smile, and warmest heart you could ever ever known.

She was the most beautiful, honest, genuine woman anyone had ever known.

I refuse to believe cancer beat my mom, just took her away from me selfishly.

Christmas has always been my absolute favorite holiday but its been very hard these past 4 years, without her.

I miss her more and more everyday. I miss her smile, her laugh, her continuous support.

I was 13 when I lost her, just 5 days after my birthday.

She never saw me play my first varsity season of soccer, she's not here for my first freshman year of college.

The absolute crazy thing about everything, is one direction was formed just 2 months after the worst day of my life.

Of course I live in America, so I hadn't known about them until February 2011.

But they saved me.

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