A storm of sand and blaze (Gaara fanfiction and The Love Story He Deserves)

Chapter 30: When I remember this life

NOTE: Hakama: it's a type of Japanese trousers used by samurai for riding. Kosode: is a type of Japanese robe, it is T-shaped, and has a looser fit than the kimono Naginata: is a pole weapon and one of several varieties of traditionally made Japanese blades.

"Long time no see, Gaara-sama".

Life appeared in a wink after such immense darkness.

Gaara knew he was alive, not because of what his senses perceived around him as real but because something ignited inside him that gave him that clarity. That amusement ran through his body like a sudden but warm liberation. This does not mean that the Kazekage had just forgotten all his concerns, but that he just wanted to prolong that instant as long as time itself could allow it. The image he was contemplating, the words that his ears heard, the fragrance of blooming nature, the fresh wind that could rise fallen leaves, they all converged into her.

The woman who was in front of him was Kaji Feza but she had changed in many ways. Again, she was an adult, just like him. Her long hair shined now like black amber and her skin was softly sun-kissed. Although she was wearing a black hakama and a long-sleeved white kosode, Gaara noticed her athletic and taller silhouette. Yet, what stood out the most was her serene look and her refreshing smile. In the shadow of her eyes he could no longer see the hesitation or sadness inherent to naivety, but the stillness of experience.

Magnificent...

A glance was enough to understand that time had passed differently for them. That he had gone back to this time, but she had followed another direction with the dragon god.

"How long has it been?" he asked her trying to be rational but still with traces of surprise in his voice.

"Twenty years". She replied still with that soft smile.

Gaara looked around and noticed they were not far away from the waterfall. The tall trees surrounded them almost in a protective way, and a cicada melody interrupted the night's silence from time to time. Also, the Kazekage realized that his wounds had been healed already, but he still felt exhausted. Covered by a lavender-colored long coat kimono he discovered it was not only to keep him warm but to restore his chakra as well. Finally, next to him, he found out his calabash with every grain of his sand inside it. He wondered if she had recollected it while he was unconscious, but he did not dare to ask.

The sudden memory of his lost battle and the last words of Shinki stroke back on him, constricting his heart. He wanted to leave as soon as possible and solve everything like he was so used to do. But if he were to hurry, he would just end up being beaten again. Thus, leaving his pessimistic thoughts and grief aside, he decided to relax the muscles of his neck and shoulders and just let the warmth of the coat involve him.

In the meantime, Feza prepared tea with a combination of roots and leaves that she took out from a little box. She served it to him with graceful movements together with what looked like crunchy cookies.

"Please, eat, Gaara-sama" She said sitting in front of him. "I prepared this myself from some ingredients that can only be found in the Shikkotsu Forest. Don't eat them too fast, though. They might seem small, but they will fill your stomach soon".

Twenty years...

As the minutes together went by, those twenty years not only made sense to him, but he could feel them himself. As if the couple of days that had passed since the last time he saw her were suddenly untangled and hugely extended.

"Why?", Gaara asked her in a low voice. His eyes filled with tears, but he could not help it. The emptiness of time suffocated his rationality. "Why did you come back?"

Perhaps, under any other circumstances, anyone would have taken his words for a reproach. However, Feza understood his feelings because she had wondered the same question for many years as well.

"Are you still thinking of going back?" Benten asked her uncountable nights when she would remain awake at night staring at the nothingness. "You don't have to. The Sand Prince can manage himself. Your little brother will be safe with him. Listen to me, if you go back you will find nothing but disappointment. I know it from experience. The shinobi world is an ungrateful and cruel place... Why would you want to go back?"

But the answer became clear with time.

"Because I love you, Gaara-sama". She replied with calmness and entirety. As if those words were the most natural thing to say and yet the most sacred. "Because time has passed, and the wounds of hatred had healed inside me. And when I remember this life, I remember it with joy knowing that you were there. Because although I have traveled to many places and I have met many people, beasts, and gods, I never wished anything more than finding you and my brother again. I trained every day and I dreamed every night for this very moment. Because you taught me that even amidst the hatred and massacre, life is still worth living. Because It is possible for wonderful encounters and beautiful things to exist".

Gaara opened slightly his mouth but no words could come out. Instead, his tears began to roll hopelessly. In a quick move he set aside from between them the empty cup and the unfinished cookies and he closed the distance between them, opening his arms to hold her tight.

When their looks met again, Feza used her sleeve to try to clean his tears.

"Please, don't wipe my tears away", he said drawing a soft smile on his lips "I want to feel them in my face".

The girl opened her arms to embrace him with the same passion. He could not see her, but he knew she was crying of joy as well. Involved by the cicada melody, words were not necessary anymore to let him know how much she had missed him. Inside his heart, Gaara had no doubt they would have enough nights together for Feza to narrate him her journeys riding the back of the dragon god; and for him to express her how much he loved her too.

They spend the rest of the night laying in the spring grass, fused in the arms of each other. Dreaming of a dream together where she could take him to all the wonderful places she visited in those years of pilgrimage. Their steps were so light that it felt like they could fly while they ran through the bamboo forest, pirouetted under the cherry blossoms, or splashed the foam of the gentle waves in the seashore.

Slowly, they separated from each other when the night began to fade, and a lighter blue ink dyed the sky. For now, the time to depart had arrived.

She wore her long lavender coat again and took her long naginata from the grass. Finally, she bit her thumb to summon Benten.

"It's time to go for Shinki".

A quick seal was formed with her hands and then a black feathered dragon appeared from the clouds as a majestic creature that one can only imagine when reading a child's tale. The Kazekage made a bow with the head in a formal way of greeting. But the creature preferred a more casual tone.

"It's been a while, Sand Prince".

"During the night, Benten furtively turned himself into a thousand little centipedes to infiltrate the village and get information about the current situation". Feza explained to Gaara. "He will tell us now what he found and from there we can make a plan".

Gaara nodded, making a las knot to tie his calabash to his belt.

In an agile swing, Feza climbed to the back of the creature and balanced herself with her strong legs. With one hand she would hold the long dark grip of her naginata and with the other one of the feathers of the dragon.

"Why have your hair and eyes not changed of colors anymore?" Gaara couldn't help himself to ask after using his own sand to fly next to them over above the tall trees.

"A rider who has mastered her chakra cannot let the enemy read her emotions through the fire inside herself. So, I decided my color to be permanently black". Feza responded getting a more serious tone again. "Benten, let us know what you found out".

"Listen carefully, you two," The dragon spoke with his deep voice "Because the man we are going to face has been consumed by hatred. It's eating him alive. And he won't hesitate to burn the whole world if it's necessary..."

As the explanation went by the words of the dragon brought no fear, doubt, or anger into Gaara's heart anymore. Instead, a profound calmness drove him now to meet his destiny.