Take a chance on me

Go With the Flow

Tristan💛:
Babygirl, seriously. You are going to
drive me crazy with these comments.
I can't tell if you're being serious
or if you're secretly making fun of
the other people in the live! But
either way the comments are
nice, and dirty if do say so myself.
But seriously, were you just playing?

You read his message and decide you need to respond. The question you ask yourself before you do is, "how is he going to react to my response?".

You:
I mean, I was mostly just messaging around.
Don't get me wrong if the opportunity
arose and I felt that connection I totally
would mean every word I said. It's just this
is all so new, and I don't want ruin things.
I don't want to rush things either. I don't
want you to feel as if that's all I want from
you, because it's not.

You press send and wait for the response. Your nerves are starting to get the best of you. Your mind is racing. Did you say the wrong thing? Is that ultimately all he wants with you? But he wouldn't put in this much effort just to have you come out there and ghost you right? Your thoughts are interrupted by your phone ringing.
"What?! Why is he trying to FaceTime me?!" You half whisper half yell to yourself.
You pickup your pillow to hide the bottom half of your face with and answer the phone.
When you answer Tristan is sitting outside where he ended his live at with his hand on his cheek poking his bottom lip out just a little.

"What?" You say giggling and smiling even though he can't see it.
"Why are hiding?" He says with a sad look on his face.
You pull the pillow down and rest your chin on it while it sits in your lap.
"There's that beautiful face!" He says finally releasing the sad look into a big smile.
You try to fake a smile but with him they're always real ones and you chuckle.
"Why'd you call?" You ask him.
"Well for a couple reasons, one I wanted to see how beautiful you look when you're tired and ready for bed. But I also wanted to talk about what you sent me in the last message." He says to you with a serious but soft face.
"What about it?" You ask with a scared tone to your voice.
He shifts around in his chair as if he's getting ready to go on a long tangent and you start to worry you said something wrong.

"(Yourname), please listen to me. I have been hurt in the past, I was hurt pretty bad. So I know how it feels. I really do. But I want you to know that I don't think that you're using me. You've only joked about coming out here, other girls as soon as I would start talking to them they wanted to come out here and make content with me, that's just using me for my clout. You make me smile more than any one of them even tried to do. I would talk to them to pass time when I didn't have something going on. I try to hurry my duties along just so I can talk to you! When I'm having a bad day I want to talk to you so I can feel happy again. When I'm happy I want to talk to you just to try and share the happiness. When I feel nothing I want to talk to you just to feel something again. You really do bring out the best in me. And wether or not anything happens if and when you decide to come out here to see me, I won't mind because even just seeing your face or talking to you is enough for me. I'm not here to use you. Or hurt you. I'm here for you to lean on when you're having a bad day, to yell excitedly to when something good happens or you have exciting news to tell me. To make you feel genuinely happy again."
When he's done talking he finally looks away from the camera and hangs his head for a second. His disposition has truth written all over it. He meant every single word he just said. You sit with your phone in one hand and your other clenched to the pillow at your chest. Nobody has ever said words like that to you. Your mind was still processing them, and the situation at hand. You had a choice to make. Would you keep hiding your emotions from him and possibly push the one thing that is bringing you back to who you want to be away? Or would you finally tell him how you feel and let the friendship finally blossom like he's been asking? The choice is yours and only yours.
When you finally look back at the screen Tristan is still hanging his head, but he's running his hands through his hair and back down his face.

"Tristan-" you say waiting for him to pick his head up.
"There's something I want- No, something I need to tell you." You pause trying to compose your emotions before continuing on.
"I don't want to be like those other girls. I want to be what you said I am to you. I want you to look forward to talking to me everyday, not think it's some chore you have to do. And that's exactly how I feel about you. Not that talking to you is a chore-" you let out a giggle and notice Tristan did too.
"But I like talking to you, scratch that, I love talking to you! It's the best part of my day. I look forward to your good morning texts, and your little reminders throughout the day that you're thinking of me, and our deep conversations that we've had. You have broke through my tattered shell faster than even my best friend can. You don't make me feel like an object that needs to be owned. You singlehandedly have brought sunshine back into my life. And I don't think I could ever thank you enough for that. I really could keep going on about how you've made my life so much better and how it only gets better with every day we talk. But I guess I will just sum it all up into five words and tell you that, I am falling for you. And it scares me because there are so many factors that point to anything between us not working out. And I want so badly for even just a friendship to work with you."
Tristan pops his head up swiftly and interrupts you before you would finish your speech.
"Stop, other than distance, what would make this not work?" He asks you with a furrowed brow.
"I mean your schedule, my schedule, the distance kind of plays a factor in the time difference." You say trying to think of more reasons.
"None of those things have been an issue. Yes you're loosing sleep, but I will understand if you stop watching my lives daily, or stay up to talk to me after them. We have the day for that."
"It's not that I want to stop watching your lives or talking to you after them. I watched your lives before we started talking-" Tristan cute you off again.
"Then what is it? Why are you trying to find faults that aren't there? What are you scared of?" He asks you.
"I'm scared of falling in love Tristan!" You blurt out burying your face in the pillow after it comes out of your mouth like word vomit.
Tristan sits there quietly for a few seconds and finally says, "Don't be. Love when it's right is a beautiful thing. No it's not like the movies or the books where it's perfect start to finish. Up the good outweighs the bad and that's what makes it beautiful. Because no matter how mad that person made you, they're still the one you want to run to when you have something exciting to say, or you need to be cheered up. That, to me, is love. Not perfect, not imperfect, but perfectly imperfect." He says looking at, what you assuming is the sky by the way his head is angled, smiling, with a glimmer in his eye that you've only seen one other time when you first started talking.
"That's really how you feel?" You ask him lifting your chin off the pillow for the first time.
"Absolutely." He says turning his face back to the camera smiling.
"And you'll catch me if I fall?" You say smiling and tilting your head.
"Always." He says letting a chuckle out.
"Okay, I'm not saying I won't still be scared, but I'll try not to worry as much and go with the flow." You tell him.
"That's all I want. I just want to roll with the punches as we decide where to take this." His eyes piercing through the screen right into yours.
"Okay." You say mesmerized by his gaze.
"Okay?" He says with a questioning tone.
"I'll do that with you."
"Really?" He asks raising his head higher.
"Yes. I want to see where this will go. So let's do it. We will make it work. I know we will." You say positively.
"Yes, we will. But it's 1:30 here which means it's about 4:30 for you. Please get some rest beautiful. I promise we will talk tomorrow."
"Wow, we've been talking that long?" You laugh. "I suppose you are right though."
"Goodnight gorgeous." He says as he lifts the screen to his lips and kisses it.
You blush, "Goodnight handsome." You say and blow a kiss to the screen.
He hangs up the phone and you flop backwards to your bed.

"Commenting on that post is probably the best decision I've ever made." You say as you feel yourself drifting to sleep.