Just do it √

Thirty Five

How do you not realize when someone close to you is keeping a secret? I think you notice but choose to stay quiet about it because you have secrets of your own that you'd rather no one found out about. My mom and I spent the rest of the Christmas holidays avoiding eye contacts and giving short replies to prying questions.

She spent most of her time at the church. We weren't the only ones avoiding eyes, Marcel was too. He left the house early and got back late only to stay holes up in his room. I wasn't any more social either but our busy parents never noticed or if they did, chose not to address it.

The thought of telling my mom what happened with Chris never crossed my mind and I was grateful that Marcel kept his mouth shut about it. The only other person I told about it was Abike, unknowingly ending her friendship with Marcel, she said it was his fault Chris was in the house at all.

           Eventually, mom caught on to the stiffness in the house. She spent the last week of the holidays drilling Marcel and I for reasons why we weren't speaking but got nothing out of it. I heard her tell Kunle about it but he brushed it off and assured her that it was just teenage drama, even as mom insisted that neither of us was dramatic.

Mrs. Dapo rode us back to school, mom and Kunle had another church commitment. Abike had already saved the front seat for Marcel and he climbed in, muttering a small greeting to Mrs. Dapo.

Abike watched me curiously and placed her hand over mine, I gave her a small smile before we fell into an unusual silence. My mind drifted off to the conversation my mom and I had before she left for church.

"I don't know what is going on with you kids. You insisted that Marcel didn't do anything wrong to you so I'm begging, please, try to sort out your differences in school. But if he hurt you in any way, don't hold back for any reason, tell me so I can take action. You are my greatest priority Amanda, I don't want anything to happen to you".

My eyes strayed to the side mirror and met with Marcel's for the first time in a week.

"Nothing happened". I had told her but that wasn't entirely true. Something did happen, I knew it and from the look in his eyes, so did Marcel.

"Why are you all so quiet?"
Mrs. Dapo asked, robbing us of our right to silence because if the woman speaks to you, you reply.
The rest of the short ride consisted of Abike trying to keep the conversation away from me.

           Abike climbed up the steps of the admin block while Marcel hung back to help get her large suitcase out of the booth. We were quiet until we got up to the search table and there he was.
"Amanda". He said with an ugly smirk.
"Let's go". Abike said but I stayed in place. I wanted to look at him, I wanted him to see me.

"How are you feeling now?"
Dead. I felt dead, he had cut off the last string that held me up.
"Marcel!" One of the boys hailed as Marcel ascended the stairs and left Abike's bag beside her.
"Hey man". He replied, proceeding to bump fists and shake hands.

I watched Chris watch him with unreadable eyes. Marcel shifted his weight from one foot to another before looking at his bestfriend.
"Hey man". He greeted and I felt myself deflate, then they bumped fists.
"Let's go". Abike repeated and this time, I obliged.

                     *                         *                        *

The first week after resumption was torture, the classes weren't serious but I still couldn't concentrate. The spotlight hadn't suddenly been thrown on me but in my friend group, I had become the horse with a horn because everyone wanted to know what was going on with me. Apparently, I was acting differently.