the adventures of hornsy and the blacksand mercs

grey revelations

After a few minutes of resting, they begin to head out again south-west towards the lab. The muddy sand squelching beneath their footfalls as they approach. Outside they see a horde of about 70-80 fishmen along with their king

Hornsy: alright listen up, your ally is dead, now hand over the lord's wife or we're going to bring down a maelstrom of UC military on your ass!!

The gurgler king looked around and chirped angerly towards the invaders. As he did that, his minions readied for battle

Grimmus: well, were boned

Before Hornsy could sound the retreat, Agnu stepped forward placing himself in between his group and the enemy

Agnu then imitated cracking his knuckles and his neck

Agnu: LISTEN HERE YA SPIKE-COCKED, FISH-EYED, SEWER-ASSED, LOBSTER ANALOGUES! IF YOU DON'T GIVE US THE LORD'S WIFE NOW I'M GONNA SHEAR THAT THIN FILM OF SLIME YOU CALL SKIN FROM YER BLOATED HEADS AND MAKE A FUCKING RAINCOAT OUT OF THEM! I'M GONNA SLAM MY FIST DOWN YER CHICKEN THROATS, RIP YER INKY INNARDS OUT, AND STITCH A SLIMY LEATHER SACK OUT OF EM! I'M GONNA SAW YER LANKY LITTLE LEGS OFF AND TURN YOUR HOLLOW LEGBONES INTO FUCKING FLUTES! THEN, I'M GONNA CRAFT A MAKSEHIFT PIPE BAG OUT OF THE RANCID AND HORRID MATERIALS I HAVE HARVESTED FROM YER STILL TWITCHING BODIES, AND THEM I'M GONNA COME AROUND AND PLAY A NICE TUNE AT YER FUNERAL CERAMONIES! BEFORE I PISS ON YOUR FUCKING EGGS!!!!!!

The entire field was silent at what just happened with them in awe at Agnu's epic rant

Grimmus: w-w-w-w-what...the holy fuck...was that?!

Hornsy: I have no idea. The only speaking Agnu could do was screaming and incoherent yelling

The fishmen and their king were panicking at that barrage of insult and threats. Their king gave a quick click and a chirp to one of his underlings. After he was finished the underling ran off towards the tower. Sometime later, he came back with a group of 10 women

Ruka: shit, that worked?

Hornsy: is lord Shiro's wife here, speak up

One of them stepped forward, her brunet hair caked in dirt and sand

Petra: m-my name...is Petra, are you really here to take me back?

Hornsy: bingo

Her eyes narrowed towards the Shek

Petra: y...you're Hornsy right? My husband told me a lot about you

Hornsy: aw, thanks. So, are you girls ready?

Petra: yes

Hornsy: alright everyone, let's go

They then head back to the carriages

Ian: your back! What happened, we heard an explosion and I think someone ranting after that

Hornsy: yeah, speaking of which, Agnu

Agnu: THAT IS MY NAME!

Bonesy, ian, and Adrian were taken aback

Ian: that scared the shit out of me!

Grimmus: language

Hornsy: if you could always speak, why didn't you just say so?

Agnu: BECAUSE IM BLOODY ALLWAYS YELLING. THAT AND I HAVE NO FUCKING FILTER! AND I DOUBT YOU WOULD WANT A BELOWING SKELLITON YELLING HIS FUCKING ASS OFF AROUND YER PISSING CITY!