joy always wanted to wear the crown others would call popularity. she was tired of those not seeing her for her abilities and smarts, only because she was middle class. a nobody, goodie-two-shoes. she also held a vendetta that knowing she could infi...
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Life had a funny way of telling you when to give up. It wasn't subtle—most of the time. Life did not play around and when it helped you set up an escape, it was smart to take it and not question it.
That was exactly what I did. I had gone home, thanks to Jungkook for driving me home. He said he didn't believe everything he read. He only knew about the letter because Lisa had given him a copy. He had told me how that alone, told him they had lied about how much involvement I did have. I stayed quiet and when he said nothing about my home, I asked why he wasn't surprised to see my humble living. He had smiled at me then and said the simplest thing I had never thought about or how they all knew. They all knew I was not rich and still welcomed me in.
"You were too nice to be one of us. We all just knew, someone as nice as you couldn't possibly be from our world."
I told him how I wasn't nice and left. If I were nice, what had happened that night would have never occurred. I didn't go back to school the following weeks. I talked to Ms. Ahn who agreed to let me graduate early and finish some tests on the weekends, when no one was there. Due to the current situation, where it was labeled that I was being targeted for bullying, it was approved. I told my parents everything and to say they hated Taehyung was an understatement although my mother had said the way he looked at me as I walked down the stairs, could not be faked. Those words gave me no comfort. Two weeks later and we moved to Jeju.
I left it all behind. I thanked the Yook's and told them how I would have to decline the scholarship. I emailed the dean, apologizing for not being able to attend. I gave no further explanation other than it did not feel right.
I did attend a school down in Busan. It wasn't my dream school, but I wanted to avoid running into anyone from my past. I managed to be awarded another scholarship that helped pay for part of my schooling as I worked part-time. I tended to not make friends, keeping to myself. A year later, Yerin contacted me and apologized because she had told Hayoung her worries, not knowing that Hayoung and I were not in speaking terms. I never heard from Hayoung, and I wasn't sure if I wanted to.
Somehow, no matter how many times I changed number, Kim Yerim would find a way to contact me. I never replied to her messages or emails. She kept me updated in things I didn't want to care about. Lisa had confessed to having fabricated the letter. It was a letter Bambam had written to her, and she fixed to make it seem that it was to Yerim. Lisa had been asked for help from Hayoung. Lisa had overheard Seolhyun and had implanted a small bug in Taehyung's car. Reading all of that, did not make me feel better. I barely even smiled when Yerim mentioned how she and Jungkook fixed things and how they were engaged now—they were to get married once they both finished their schooling.
Whenever I would read his name, I would stop reading. There were countless of emails from Yerim, starting with his name that I simply did not open. I did not care to know about him. The last thing I wanted was to have open wounds have salt thrown at them. I never believed how first loves were always remembered and now I did. First loves were remembered because they also were so painful. For months, there was no way for me to get over Kim Taehyung. I still kept all our memories, close to my heart. I threw away his white rose after a month. I had been stupid to keep it. Stupid to think that maybe I was wrong. Those two weeks, while I was getting ready to leave, I hoped to see him. Maybe from afar. Just once, to let go. To cut clean.
