Markhyuck Oneshots

Slowly but Surely

TW// MENTION OF RAPE, RAPE  AND SELF ESTEEM ISSUES: SELF SHAME AND DISGUST

It's been an entire year. One whole year and yet, Donghyuck can still feel the impression of that man on his skin. He still relives himself scratching, screaming and pushing off the obviously larger man each night. He still can't forgive himself for being at the club that late without Mark. He still can't forgive himself for what he was wearing. He hasn't been able to look at himself in the mirror and smile since.

Of course, Mark continuously attempted to reassure Donghyuck that it wasn't his fault. He tried to tell him that he was still pretty, beautiful and desirable and had nothing to be ashamed of. He tried to let him know that his rapist was in jail and that now Mark would never leave his side, to ensure that he was safe. But, nothing worked.

And that hurt Donghyuck the most. It hurt that he knew he was hurting his boyfriend by rejecting Mark's affection each day. Mark hadn't tried to be intimate with him since that day but Donghyuck still hasn't been able to even hug him since. He hasn't been able to understand why he still said he loved him, when he hadn't even kissed him in twelve months. He didn't understand how Mark still said he was cute when he was used, disheveled and discarded.

Donghyuck stood, facing his the mirror. Anywhere he is in his life a whole 365 days later was thanks to Mark's dedication to him. He had quit his job so Mark picked up another to continue to care for them both. He has to eat each day and care for appearance because Mark has made sure he would keep himself well. He was thankful, appreciative to his boyfriend for sacrificing so much for him when he doesn't deserve it.

Even though Mark tries not to show it, Donghyuck knows he's not happy. He's not happy working almost nineteen hours a day at his two jobs and on top of that he has a good for nothing lazy boyfriend that can't even care for himself.

He watched a few tears fall from the brim of his eyes. He heard himself complain about himself each day, but it's not like he didn't believe it.

He decided that he needed to do something for Mark. He needed to pull himself together because he felt like a burden and he knew he wasn't worth it. From today, he would stop lounging around and stop being a burden. He would make Mark happy to be with him for the first time in a long time.

He wiped the coming tears and scratched the dried tear stains from his cheeks. He let Mark's sweater hang from his wrist, covering his long fingers and took a look around his room. He had moved into a tinier room with a convertible bed when he couldn't manage sleeping so close to Mark but today, he planned to move back.

He cleaned up and cleared away the rubbish that he built up on the floor and the grub off the walls. His heart hurt as he cleaned. He assumed it would be easier to move on when he started to tidy up and be productive, but he still felt broken. He still felt useless and it caused his heart to cry.

But he pushed on, through his embarrassment of how disorganized and messy his and Mark's little house had become, he cleaned for the entire day. Feeling physical exhausted after a hard day's work for the first time in what felt like forever.

He listened to music while he cleaned and smiled and danced for the first time in a long time. His heart lifted slightly as he kept himself occupied; his mind cleared in the tiniest bit. But as soon as he plopped down on his couch in his small victory, his dark thoughts returned. He no longer was occupied and the voices in his head run wild.

He felt scared of being home once again. He shuddered in fear, clutching his body, sinking into the softness of the couch. He fell asleep with the sounds of demons knocking on his brain.

Two hours later, Mark arrived home to the sight of Donghyuck trashing around in his sleep. He ran to the younger boy, quick to embrace him. Mark brought his frail body to a seated position, slowly bringing him from his slumber. His eyes seperated slowly, cuddling his head between the crook of Mark's neck with his arms wrapped around him.