Markhyuck Oneshots

Like Water, Like Sand, They...

I hate to become strangers with someone again. When we've both made an unspoken agreement that we've accepted the turns of the universe and decided to never reach out to each other again. When years pass and we can't even wave to each other in passing anymore. Its part my fault, I never make an attempt to continue communication but one never expects the person to be okay with that...

You always assume that the friendship is stronger than that....until it's nothing. It's like as instantly as we became friends, we weren't.

The memories are dying too....the days we claimed we'd never forget are only  a dwindling thought, a flicker of light until they're blown out for good.

The days we spent talking and laughing, I no longer remember what we spoke about but I have a faint memory of how wide your smile was, how it lifted your face and how your eyes rested on your cheeks. I kind of remember our first meeting when I just migrated to Korea and even though you were only four, you were the most hospitable person I had encountered. 

My fifteenth birthday where you kissed me on the cheek for the first time remains. The video playing in my mind, skipped from time to time when at one point, it was one continuous loop that replayed in my heart.

However, the day I remember most is when you never looked back. I remember our last day speaking to each other like we were the best friends we claimed to be. I remember it clearly.

++

Our index fingers intertwined, hanging on loosely. I don't know why I didn't just grab up your hand and hold it in mine because god did I want to. I wasn't brave enough then and frankly, I still am not now or maybe we wouldn't be practically strangers a mere year later.

A pink hue settled on my cheeks as my heart rate spiked. I wasn't nervous, I tried to convince myself. I wasn't lying....I wasn't nervous for them to separate classes because  up until then, Donghyuck and I had always been in the same homerooms. I was nervous however to have your hand so close to mine.

I didn't know why at the time. We had only been friends. It wasn't until my birthday that year when you kissed me....It was only on the cheek but it showed me that I wouldn't mind to have your soft lips on my skin again and again.

I started paying attention to you more and my fascination with your beautiful, heart shaped lips turned into my love for your entire anatomy. Maybe, a small crush but I don't think you needed to know that...after all I never saw any signs of you liking me back.

You turned to face me out of nowhere when they started to call the homeroom list names. Your finger from our joined hands, came up to boop my nose. I think I changed colour again, I could feel my own temperature rise. I think you liked teasing me for a reaction because you only laughed and turned away again, reconnecting our fingers.

Then, your name was called. You waved me bye and did a cute little waddle to that classroom. I finally had time to breathe as we separated, to recollect my wits and lower my heart rate. I was expecting my name soon after but it wasn't until the last class line up that I was identified.

It was okay though.

Since we stook together growing up, neither of us really had good friends in other classes so I assumed we'd remain friends.

I didn't expect that when we met at lunch that you'd only stay for five minutes before heading away to the friends you'd made in your new class.

That was when you walked away and we never met to eat again.

++

I don't what I had expected, Donghyuck obviously made friends easily. I was one of them.

Our talks over text became infrequent and we rarely hung out anymore. Of course I realized, but it was only when I passed him in the hallways and we couldn't even make eye contact that it resonated that what we had was lost.

What we could've become was an unrealistic dream.

I don't understand how that became our new normal. I don't know how his new friends took my place.

It was like water between my fingers, like sand that slipped through the cracks, our friendship, our livelihood, our memories.....they slipped away.

I've been busy, busy trying to act like Donghyuck isn't what kept me busy. I got new friends too, I tried out for sports and extracurriculars too, I had girls and boys to keep me busy. And it was okay. It really was.

But, whenever I saw him and I thought about him, I felt empty. Like, I would throw everything away just to be friends again. That's how I know I've been holding onto nothing for too long.

People grow apart, that's normal. We grew apart.

But....

Even if we aren't as close as we were, why can't either of us bring ourselves to acknowledge the other's presence? Why is there tension every time we pass? I've seen his life pass by on social media so why can't I take part in it?

How did we become strangers?

A knock on my door brings me from my own thoughts. Never in a million would I have guessed Donghyuck was behind the door. He haven't talked to me since then, I've heard his voice but directed at me....it sounded different. I felt weak. I felt pale. I felt bare.

"Minhyung." His voice was barely above a whisper, I saw all the air escape his lips in the cold.

"Hi." My tone matched his. It was a simple word but bore too much emotion that I'm comfortable admitting.

Our eyes met as I forced myself to face him. It was strange, unnerving. I was uncomfortable. He made me uncomfy. I waited for Donghyuck to speak, apologize maybe, beg to be friends again, cry, just show any emotion other than the pity his eyes held for me.

"Can I come in?" is all he said and I hesitated. Why should I let him in?

We're strangers.

But I did. We sat on the couch together. Not playful and relaxed like we did as kids but stiff and distanced like what you do with an older relative you meet for the first time.

It was silent like a homeroom on the first day of school when people weren't yet acquainted.

Where do we go from here?

==

I sat in my exam ranting to myself about how much I hate open endings so I decided to write one. 😆

Frankly where do they go from here? Things like this have happened to me before with multiple friendships and I do understand that not everything lasts but when I'm put into a situation with one of those ex-close friends....even if we aren't awkward, I can't help but think...we're nothing like what we used to be. Where did we go wrong? And psych myself out of just enjoying their presence. So writing them reconciling felt unrealistic to me but it's still not completely impossible. So, imagine the rest of the story how you will.

Date: August 1, 2020