Markhyuck Oneshots

i miss u - part 1

They go to sleep once more, as they do every night - exhausted, touch deprived, without a kiss to the cheek, without a 'good night'. It's been ages since they've interacted on that level, affection suppressed under the demands of college and work, and the bags they carry under their eyes when they finally drop them for sleep.

Donghyuck feels lonely in his own relationship.

Mark feels like he hasn't seen Donghyuck in years.

They wake up apart, as they do every morning. It's routine for Mark, the late sleeper, to drag his tired body of dried sweat and sore muscles into the kitchen where Donghyuck, the early bird, is fixing a simple breakfast for himself - even though he knows Mark is shit at cooking.

He got out of the habit of making two servings when his work pushed his shift earlier and he was struggling to make his own food quickly enough to eat before he was running out the door. Eventhough it's the weekend and Donghyuck doesn't have his jobs and Mark doesn't have school, practiced habits are hard to break.

Their entire relationship has become a collection of bad habits. A string of decisions for self, forgetting about team.

Mark enters the same space to get started on his breakfast, as Donghyuck sits to eat his. The silence that envelopes them isn't uncomfortable, it's become their norm to start the morning apart or together, in silence. Breaking the silence is the uncomfortable part, cutting the divide built between them is difficult and most mornings, neither of them attempt the difficult task - too tired and discouraged from the weekdays they spent giving life their all.

Breaking the silence is never horrible though. Neither of them acknowlege the mute cries their souls make for each other each day. Their beings yearn to return to what they were before they just fell into the routine of existing around each other, they yearned to feel loved again, just to remember what it felt like.

They're stressed and they never go to each other to aid it anymore.

Luckily though, some habits are meant to be broken. Some faulty habits snap, break and drain the remains of life from you; some habits are unhealthy.

"Mark, do you want to go somewhere today?" He hears the unfamiliar voice - almost as if he'd never heard it before - bounce on the walls of their hugely undecorated kitchen. He initially understands it to be Donghyuck asking him if he plans to go anywhere today and if he will probably be out of the house but when he takes a bit more time to listen to the curl of desperation hugging the letters as they ran from his lips, Mark thinks Donghyuck is asking him out.

"Uh.." Of course Mark doesn't have plans. Mark is an excellent student, on top of his studies and his homework; he's so up to date that he is able to schedule his Saturday's free most weeks. That doesn't mean however that Mark knows how to spend a day out with his own boyfriend - they haven't done it in so long, they're probably out of practice. "I- I guess I do." That doesn't mean he doesn't want to go.

"Good." Though his back is turned away, he can hear the small curl to Donghyuck's lips. Getting used to facing away from Donghyuck, Mark knows exactly how to decipher his emotions from his shortest statements, softest whispers and loudest screams. From when his simplest word is asking for space to when his most defiant shouts and screams are just begging for Mark's love and Mark's touch.

Packing up for their fishing trip wasn't hard. Fishing trips being just another thing they'd simply fallen out of practice with. So, it wasn't that labourious to remember just what they needed to bring, just how much Mark needed to stretch his arm to slip his fingers into Donghyuck's and the content smile that overtakes Donghyuck's features, swiped on like butter, doesn't take much effort either.

Mark depends on his memory to take him to their river - the river they'd spent their early days at together, laughing, talking, kissing, just getting to know so much about their partner. Surely Mark must still remember just which turn to take and just how hard he must press on the break to be able to stop right in front of 'their' spot.

Setting up isn't hard, catching their first two fish isn't that tough either; it's the unfamiliarity that's hard to break. The incessant reminder that this is something that they're not versed in anymore and talking and joking will be difficult.

They both shake it. This is their relationship and maintaining it is their responsibility.

"Baby," Donghyuck's lips curl like sour milk, it feels so weird - like non-dominant hand weird, mirrored image weird, the horrid overstretch of your muscles when you haven't exercised in a while weird. "Can you pass me more bait please?" He fakes a smile to mask his discomfort but Mark hears it, Mark's been able to hear it for a good while now.

Mark doesn't pass the bait. He goes up to Donghyuck and takes the pole from his hand - ignoring the stiffness in his veins from being so close to him - and seats himself on his boyfriend's lap. It takes a while for his equally stiff boyfriend to relax into the chair again, shifting Mark with him when he leans backward.

Mark takes the opportunity to wrap his arms around his neck, leaning his face so near to the crook of Donghyuck's neck that he can smell the faint aroma of their detergent and no more than a hair strand away that he feels his lips ghost his pulse point - a place he hasn't been in a long time. He allows himself to relax there, telling his mind that this is normal.

They remain for a while, painting a lovely picture above a serene background - the running river, the dim sky, the sound of whatever birds are out at this time. It contradicts the urgency of their heartbeats, their express train of thoughts and simply how awkward this position felt.

Mark breathes his surroundings in, wondering why they can't operate as naturally as the environment around them - everything having a purpose, everything fulfilling said purpose. "Donghyuck, what happened to us?"

In this time, Donghyuck's arms had found purchase around Mark's waist, a minute brush of his thumb caressed the flesh there. "I don't know, I guess we just got too busy." He can't help but sigh.

They'd been high school sweethearts except they never actually went to high school together and Donghyuck was only the sibling of Mark's classmate that he happened to meet at his high school graduation. Their relationship had come off of a high of summer vacation where they were literally attached by the hip, where as now their summers were spent in the same space, just living around each other. Their busy lifestyle wasn't the culprit; they'd simply lost the habit.

They'd gotten too comfortable, forgetting that love is a consistent effort and even the world's strongest force was merely a habit - whether healthy or unhealthy.

He dares to voice what they've never acknowledged. "Can we move on from this?" Mark supresses the desire to cry. He doesn't think he's asking for too much, if Donghyuck truly is the love of his life, then asking for a loving relationship definitely can't be too much. Asking for love, attention, dedication from the man he felt like he's hasn't seen in ages cannot be too much. "I've missed you so much." His voice breaks into a sob this time, a few tears falling.

I don't know. Mark sees the answer in the way Donghyuck's lips quiver. He rips his eyes away, focuses on the birds flying away above instead of how severly his heart rips into half. "I want us to. I hope we can." Donghyuck finally answers. Mark can tell that's it's truthful as well. "Mark, I miss you even when you're right in front of me. Of course I want us to work." Donghyuck doesn't want to feel lonely in his relationship anymore.

Mark takes his time to face Donghyuck again, embarrassed for crying. Donghyuck is gentle in raising his fingers to flick away Mark's tears and even more gentle in bringing his boyfriend's lips down to meet his for a kiss that is so out-of-practice yet so muscle memory it hurts.

It doesn't last long, neither of them can bear the ache in their hearts much longer.

However, they both hope that kiss signified something. They hope it meant they could fall back into their rhythm of caring and loving instead of hesistating and forgetting, and enjoying life and living with each other instead of getting by and simply existing around each other.

How the story goes from here, it's only up to them.

Date: February 19, 2021